Don't Let Me Go
by WeProtectOurOwn
Summary: A/U: Callie and Arizona are married and with 5 beautiful kids. One incident with Sofia brings out insecurities that haven't affected Callie in a long time. This opens her dark past before Seattle and she needs her family to keep her in the present. (This is my first story so reviews are welcome. Give it a shot. For the most part it'll be in Arizona's POV.)
1. Chapter 1

A/U Callie and Arizona are married and with 5 beautiful kids. One incident with Sofia brings out insecurities that haven't affected Callie in a long time. This opens her dark past before Seattle and she needs her family to keep her in the present. (This is my first story so reviews are welcome. Give it a shot. For the most part it'll be in Arizona's POV.)

Rating: M

**Warning**: This will touch on suicide and will have domestic violence content. So if those are triggers then you can skip those chapters. I'll warn you at the beginning of the chapter.

AN: I don't own anything. All are owned by the great Shonda Rhimes and ABC.

AN: All the mistakes are my own. No beta for this.

Chapter 1

Sofia's POV

**2 a.m.**

I stumble up the back porch steps and I can't seem to put my key into the lock. I'm totally seeing double right now. Tonight is exactly what I needed. I've been so stressed out lately. School, volleyball, student council is doing perfect but I feel like I've been fighting with Mama a lot. I don't even know why though. It's not like she's picking fights with me. She's actually been great and yet I can't help but blow a fuse with her. Maybe it's about to be 'that' time of the month. Anyways, I finally get the door open and the whole house is dark. _Thank God._ Making it to the bottom of the stair case, as I'm about to take a step up onto the first step, the light in the living room turns on.

_Oh shit._

"Sofia, you better have a good reason for not calling or texting me tonight."

"Uhm…"

_She sounds so calm. This isn't normal._

"I got caught up at Leila's and it slipped my mind."

"You know the rules Sof. We trust you to be responsible but you have to call or text us to tell us where you are and when you think you'll be home. I didn't get either of those."

"If you trust me then why does it matter?"

"It matters because at least we know."

"Ugh, whatever mom." I say under my breath.

"Were you guys drinking?"

"No." Liar.

"Don't lie to me."

"We didn't." _Why don't you just tell her the truth?_

"Then come here."

"What?!"

"You heard me. Come over here." I take a few tiny steps around the coffee table to stand in front of her and have no idea what she wants.

"Open your mouth." She demands.

"Excuse me?"

"Open." I open my mouth. Mama stands up from where she was seated and takes in a deep breath right near my mouth.

_Damn it._

"Sof, I'm giving you one more chance to tell me the truth."

"Fine! I was drinking tonight. I've been stressed out and I needed to wind down a little bit. Can you back off now?!" I don't even understand why I'm so mad. It has to be because of the alcohol I consumed not too long ago.

"Your mom and I don't ask much from you Sof! All we ask is that you tell us when you're going to drink because God forbid something can happen to you!" She says firmly but hushed.

"But nothing happened to me! I'm right here. So what if I didn't tell you if I was drinking or when I'll be home? I come home by the end of the night."

_Why am I even fighting with mama?_

Mama and I are so into our argument that we don't notice a car pulling into the drive way.

"What about next time, huh?! You might not be so lucky. I'm a doctor. I see worse case scenarios and the last thing I want is for you to end up in the ER or on my OR table."

"I'm careful. Mom has taught me how to handle almost every situation that could happen. I can handle it and myself. I'm responsible. So please stop treating me like I have no idea what could happen to me!"

"You love your jager and redbull and you might know what's going on around you but your senses aren't as fast. I get it! Mom has taught you how to handle yourself. I don't doubt that. But you are exactly like me Sofia! You know how much to drink to be drunk then stop but that doesn't stop my worrying. I just needed a text or a voicemail!"

Out of all of that, I only picked up a few sentences. I don't even hear the back door open, but before I can filter my mouth, I can't take back the words that came out of my mouth.

"That's the thing Mama. I don't want to be anything like you! I might look exactly like you and I might get most of my genes from you but I only have one mom and you aren't her!" I'm so angry that my chest is heaving but the minute the words tumble out, I regret them. I see the flash of hurt I set in Mama's eyes.

"SOFIA ISSA TORRES ROBBINS!"

_I know that voice anywhere. Fuck. I'm in trouble._

Mom comes storming in and the floor looks suddenly interesting.

"You better apologize to your Mama right now!" She sternly says. I'm surprised none of my other siblings have woken up or they're just being smart and staying out of it. Mama puts a hand on mom's forearm and I instantly see her relax a bit.

"Arizona… It's alright." She leaves the living room, comes back with ibuprofen, a glass of water, and a snack. Mama sets them on the coffee table for me. I can feel Mom burning holes into me. I'm in so much trouble.

"Sofia, make sure you drink that whole glass and take the ibuprofen then eat the granola bar. That way you won't feel too bad in the morning." I nod.

Mama turns to mom, "Uhm, I'm gonna go to the hospital."

"Babe, it's late. Please. Let's go to bed."

"I-I just need some space. I'll see you tomorrow. I have a short day anyway. I love you." Mama kisses mom's cheek. She turns to me, hesitates for a second then kisses my forehead. She grabs her keys and walks out the door.

"Sofia, look at me right now." I can only listen. Mom's eyes are so hard and I know she is furious with me. I'm scared.

"You and I are going to talk tomorrow. You are in so much trouble, I almost can't think straight. I have no idea what you and Mama were arguing about but I will find out. Now go upstairs and try to get some sleep."

"Yes ma'am." I cower towards the stairs.

I trudge my way up to my room. I don't even bother changing and go under my covers and next thing I see is black.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hopefully you can see this chapter now. I'm trying to stay ahead because let's face it people love their updates. Leave comments. And thank you for giving my story a read. :)

Chapter 2

Arizona's POV

I'm slowly being pulled from unconsciousness and roll over to feel cold sheets. Being brought to reality to remember the fight I walked in on last night. I have never heard Sofia talk to my wife like the way she did. Something is going on with her and I need to get to the bottom of it. Sofia has been constantly fighting with Calliope tooth and nail about every little thing but I could ask for the same thing and she would obey me. I get that being a teenager everything seems like the end of the world and the need to rebel against your parents nags at you but this seems different.

Anyways, the hurt in Calliope's eyes last night was so heart breaking that I felt my heart ache for her. Those words definitely left a mark. We've had our fair share of people throwing their opinions of our family down our throats but to have your own daughter tell you, you're nothing is a deal breaker. None of the kids have ever said anything so hurtful towards me so I can only imagine what's going through Calliope's head. I don't know what she would have been doing at the hospital at almost 3 a.m. but I know she'll be sleeping in her office until her shift starts this morning.

I throw my legs over the side of the bed and get ready for the day. After a fresh shower, I walk down stairs to start breakfast for the kids. I hear a few doors open. As I'm about to flip a pancake when I feel strong arms wrap around my waist. I smile.

"Morning Mom." Greyson says.

"Good morning baby boy. Where's everyone else?"

"Hayden was just waking up, Peyton is in the bathroom, Adam is about to come down and I have no idea about Sofia."

"Oh. Okay. Breakfast should be ready in 20 minutes. Will you make sure everyone is down here by then?"

"Sure. Where's Mama?" He asks.

"She's at the hospital but she has a short day though."

"Okay." Grey goes into the living room and watches to tv.

As surgeons we don't always have the luxury to have family breakfast regularly but during the weekends we make it a point to schedule our mornings free. Knowing my wife purposely staying at the hospital because she needs space makes it a little less perfect.

"Hey guys! Breakfast should be ready in a couple minutes! Get down here!" Grey yells.

The stampedes of 8 feet are hurdling down the stairs and come into the kitchen and get themselves seated at the table. All the kids are chatting except Sofia who is keeping to herself right now. I serve everyone pancakes and leave the jug of orange juice on the table up for grabs.

"Mom. Where's Mama?" my youngest daughter asks.

"She's working princess. But she doesn't have a busy day so she should be home in a couple hours. What do you guys think about spending the day at Uncle Tim's and Aunt Kara's today?"

"Yay!" All my younger kids cheer, as for the older two they would rather spend the day with their friends or significant others.

"Grey, are you going with them?"

"Yeah, I told Uncle Tim I would come hang out with him."

"Okay, so you can drive you guys over there after you guys get ready."

"What about you Sof?" He directs to Sofia.

"Uhm…" She doesn't know.

"She's staying at home with me. Don't worry about her Grey." I tell him.

All the kids put there dishes in the sink and go about getting ready for the day. We've had these plans with my brother for a while now. The kids love going over to their uncle's when they get a chance. They all have a great relationship with my nieces and nephews. The huge Robbins' clan is a force to be reckoned with. I hear my phone go off, telling me I have a new text message. Ones from Tim and the other from Callie.

_Hey sis. The kids can come by whenever. Can't wait to see them!_

_Hi baby. I'll be a little longer then I said I would but I should be home at 5. I got pulled into a few consults and a short surgery barring no complications. Love you. -C_

I reply to Callie. _Hey you. Alright, no problem. Grey is going to drive the kids over to Tim's soon. Are you okay? Love you too. -A_

_I'm fine. Talk to you later. About to scrub in. -C_

She's lying. I know she isn't okay. I wouldn't be after what Sofia said. Speaking of her, I need to talk to her. But I'll wait until the other kids are gone. I'm to walk to my bedroom when I hear Grey talking to Sofia. I shouldn't listen but I can't help it.

"Grey, what do you want?" I hear Sofia ask.

"Don't think I didn't hear your screaming match with Mama early this morning."

"Shut up."

"Come on. Talk to me."

She sighs. "I don't know what happened. She wasn't even trying to fight with me. She was so calm. All she wanted to know was why I didn't call or text her to tell her where I was and when I would be home."

"Okay. That's just the rule."

"Right. She asked me if I was drinking and I lied. I knew better than to lie but I did anyways. I know the rules. It's just Mama."

"Can I ask you something without you getting mad?"

"I guess."

"Would you have said what you said if it was Mom that was here waiting up for you? And why didn't you just ask me to take you home? You know I was hanging out with Zack."

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking. But to answer your question, I don't think I would have said anything or gotten mad if Mom was the one waiting for me."

"Look, you were wrong. Mama wasn't even coming at you harshly. You need to apologize. I think you don't want to tell me what you're actually holding against her. But I know what you said really hurt her."

"Stay out of a Grey. You don't know anything." She snaps.

"Then just tell me why."

Now I have to stay because I need to know why too.

"Fine… But you don't tell anyone!"

"Abeulo and abeula were at the hospital one day and ran into me. They recognized me because you know I look like Mama. Well then they talked to me for a little bit asking about Mama. I wanted them to stay but they said they had to leave. So I gave them my number so I get some answer that Mama won't give me."

"Wait, you're talking about Mama's mom and dad?"

"Yes. And don't interrupt me. Well I asked them why we don't get to see them and they told me that Mama cut them off and didn't want either of them to know us. How could she do that? They're her parents! Abeula started crying when I told her what Mama was doing now and stuff. She doesn't know anything about her."

"I don't believe that. Maybe, she had a good reason for cutting them off. You only got one side of the story Sof."

"Mama won't tell me anything. It seems like she's ashamed of all of us if she wouldn't introduce us to our grandparents. Don't get me wrong, I love grandma and grandpa but we don't know our other side of our family besides Aunt Aria."

I can't stand to hear anymore. I need to talk to Calliope right now. For as long as I've known her, we don't talk about her family. She said there were reasons why she cut off her family. It's what she needed to do and doesn't regret her choice. She told me it wasn't because she didn't want me to know the story it's the matter of her not being dragged back into a dark place especially now. I can understand and respect that. I don't like talking about my experiences with the people who were cruel to me just because I'm a lesbian. But I still have to talk to Sofia.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Arizona's POV

I make sure I walk up the steps extra loud so it doesn't seem like I've been eavesdropping. I knock on Sofia's room and see that Grey is still in there with her.

"Hey, Uncle Tim said you guys can go over there whenever." I tell Grey.

"Okay. I'm gonna go see if they're ready then." He leaves the room.

I sit on Sofia bed and just stop for a second to look at her. _God, my daughter is beautiful._ I might be a little bias but I think it's true. Sofia is my pride and joy. When Callie and I first wanted to start our family, I wanted a mini Callie and I got what I wished for. She has Callie's dark black hair, skin tone, her stature. Sofia's eyes are the color of an ember compared to her mothers' dark brown almost black eyes but just as expressive. I'm brought back to reality by Sofia trying to ask me something.

"I'm sorry sweetie. What did you say?"

"I said, do we still have to talk or can we go straight to punishment?"

"No. We are going to talk." She scoffs.

"Hey mom. We're gonna head out. Come on guys, say bye to mom real quick." Grey instructs.

"Bye mommy." Peyton kisses my cheek while I hug her. She's still my little princess at 8 years old.

"See ya later mom." Adam says next, trying to get out of a hug from me. He's at the age where he wants cuddles but only privately being 12.

"Bye mom." Hayden tell me from the door way. He walks up to give me a quick hug. He's getting so tall just at 14.

"Alright, just call me or something when you want us back." So thankful that Grey got his license not too long ago so I don't have to drive all the time, the perks of having a 16 year old.

"Okay, love you guys. Be good for Uncle Tim and Aunt Kara. I'll see you guys tonight."

I get a bunch of mixed goodbyes then I hear the front door shut. I turn to Sofia who looks like she's in a deep thought.

"What cha thinking about baby girl?" I ask.

"Nothing." She answers.

"Come on Sof. So what did you and Mama fight about last night?"

"It was stupid. I forgot to text her to tell her I was with Leila last night and when I was planning on coming home. She asked me if I was drinking and I lied. Mama smelt my breath and she knew I lied too. I don't know why I did but I did anyways. That was pretty much it."

Since I heard her tell Grey the same thing I knew she wasn't lying.

"So what made you say what you said to Mama then?"

"I don't know." Sofia looks at me sheepishly.

"Sof…" I wait.

"Okay. If I tell you something, please don't get mad." She begs.

"I can't promise I won't be mad because I'm already upset with you. But I can try."

"Abuela and abuelo were at the hospital not too long ago looking for Mama. They ran into me while I was doing my volunteer hours. They didn't know who I was but asked me if I knew who Mama was. I told them I did because I am her daughter. Abuela started crying but I didn't know why until abuelo said that they were my grandparents. I knew it was them from the one photo I know Mama has of them. Anyways, after they talked to me for a little bit, they decided they couldn't stay but I gave them my number. So we've talked a couple times while I ask them a couple questions about Mama."

"Why didn't you come to me or Mama?"

"Because I knew that Mama wouldn't give me the answers I needed."

"What did they tell you?"

"They said they Mama cut them off from her life when she moved here and they didn't understand why. So they were finding out what they could through the internet and found out she worked at the hospital. I don't get how she could just cut off her parents like that. Then I feel like she is ashamed of us if she hasn't told them about any of us."

I sigh. "Sof, that's their side of the story. Your Mama doesn't really talk about her family. The one thing I know is that she doesn't talk to them anymore. I respected her wishes when she said that she couldn't talk about it. I might not know the whole story but I know for a fact she is not ashamed because of our family. That's ridiculous." I state.

"Whatever." She jeers.

That's it. I can't handle this attitude she has towards my wife anymore.

"You're grounded for a month. This is my punishment for what happened and I would assume Mama would agree with me. No car, no phone after volleyball, you will carpool the kids to whatever they need, you won't be going anywhere, and lastly, you'll be doubling your volunteer hours at the hospital but will work under Karev. Am I understood?"

"A whole month?! MOM!" she squeals out.

"No, Sofia. This is for not following our rules, lying to Mama, and being unnecessarily rude to her, for saying what you did. You don't speak to anyone like that let alone to the woman who birthed you. I don't even think you realize how much you hurt her Sof and that's what really upsets me. You happen to listen to me just fine but lately, anytime Mama tries to talk to you the attitude ensues. I've been lenient about it. And I understand that you don't get your mother's reason for keeping you from your grandparents but that isn't your decision to make. But it doesn't give you a right to be nasty. You will make this up to her. Do you understand me Sofia?"

"Yes ma'am." With her head hung.

"Good." I get off her bed. Right when I'm at the door way, I have to ask.

"Are you that upset that you think Mama is ashamed of us?" She just nods.

"You might be turning 18 soon Sof but you have no idea how much Mama has done for this family." I leave her to think about that.

I'm vegging out on the couch with Sofia across the room from me. She is on punishment but according to my command. Right now, she can spend some time with me. It's about 5 p.m. so Calliope should be home soon. Then I hear keys jingle in the front door.

"Arizona?!" Callie yells out.

"Living room." I yell back.

She strides in her scrubs which is weird to me but she looks beautiful as ever. She comes over, leans over the back of the couch to give me a kiss which I happily lean into.

"Hey babe." She purrs.

"Hi honey. How was your day?"

"It was fine. Slow even with my short surgery. I finished a bunch of paper work and budget reports. Yours?"

"Oh, it's been relaxing. Empty house for the most part." She's barely acknowledged Sofia.

"Hey Sof."

"Hi." Sofia gives her short answer.

"Would you care to tell Mama what you told me today?" I push. I know she won't say anything if she has it her way.

"No, I wouldn't."

I give a hard Robbins' glare and she gives in.

"I ran into abuelo and abuela at the hospital a couple weeks ago and I've been talking to them ever since."

"What?!" Callie shrieks.

"They told me you just cut them off after you moved here. They don't know about any of us. How could you not want us to know them? And how could you just cut them off?! Abuela started crying when she realized I was related to her." She sneers.

Callie straightens herself out behind the couch. She looks like she is on the defense right now and I see a Spanish rant coming. I put my hand on her forearm to calm her down and I feel her relax a bit. I hear her take in a deep breath through her nose and push it out slowly through her mouth. She walks toward Sofia and stands right in her line of vision.

"Let's get this straight Sofia, there are reasons to why I haven't told your grandparents about this part of my life. It's not because I'm ashamed of the beautiful thing I have. It's because they don't deserve to get to know you. I don't trust them at all. I won't put my family in that situation. I have my reasons and I WILL NOT let my daughter patronize me because she thinks she knows my parents. You have no idea how I grew up and I would never want you to experience that."

She increased her volume by ten-fold and I don't think she even realized it. Callie doesn't wait for either of us to say anything until she slams the door to the garage. My jaw is slacked and Sofia is speechless. I had no idea that Calliope felt that way about her parents. Now we definitely have to talk about this.

"I don't appreciate how you just addressed her. I don't know what has gotten into you but I won't put up with it either. Get up stairs and I'll call you down when dinner gets here."

"Yes ma'am." She gets up to go to her room.

She stops and turns her head so I can see her profile. "Why doesn't this bother you?"

"She'll tell me when she's ready and clearly she isn't yet. Getting in her face and jumping down her throat won't get us anywhere faster. I know better than to think she doesn't want to be a part of this family. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have 5 beautiful kids. Now go." I point towards the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Longest chapter yet but I didn't want to split this into two parts so push through it'll be worth it! Next chapter we start to step into Callie's dark past. Stay tuned. :)

Chapter 4

Callie's POV

My blood is boiling as I slam the garage door shut. I throw my purse onto the bench by the door. I need to cool down before I think about going back inside. I know I'm hot headed. I can control myself but push too much and too soon and it's an ugly sight to see. I walk over to the closet with the work out equipment and pull out my old kick boxing gloves. It might not be the best sport for a surgeon since our hands are our life but I need to release some energy.

_It feels good to slip these babies on._

I take a big swing at the red punching bag hanging from the ceiling. I feel a huge sense of relief when my glove connects with the bag. I quick jab with my right then a big left hook. I keep throwing punches at rapid succession and finish off a combination with a round house kick.

I love Sofia, I do. I love my family. There is no doubt in that but I refuse to let my daughter mock me about the decisions I made about my parents and their role in my life. Like I told her, I don't trust them. They are manipulative and good at putting on a good show. I hate what they did to me. I did what I thought was the best by keeping them away and out of my life. They don't understand and I'm thinking it's about time that I open up that can of worms.

I hear a car pull up. That means the rest of the kids are back from their uncle's. I hate thinking about how I grew up but thankful that my kids will never have to know what some things I went through but only by imagination. I'm still not ready to go back in so I'll blare my music and have a nice work out with my punching bag.

I took up kick boxing when I was in high school. It's more of a hobby and exercise but my trainer said I could have been an amazing contender. He tried to get me to sign up for fights but I never took him up with the offer. Plus it's one of the best ways to blow off steam.

Right hook.

Leg jab.

Right elbow.

Right knee.

Left jab.

Right hook.

Left elbow.

Left knee.

Right kick.

Left hook.

Round house kick.

My lungs are burning but in a good way. I give myself a break and then I start a different combination. I keep going until someone comes in and turns the music down. I turn around to see my wife standing at the stereo. Looking into her baby blue eyes, all I see is worry and for a second I swear I saw lust starting to brew. I know what me dripping in sweat and wearing my boxing gloves do to her.

"Uh- Are y-you going to come in and eat dinner? I ordered some take out." She says while her tongue peaks out from between pink delicious lips and swipes her bottom lip.

I swallow hard because my libido has just skyrocketed. "Could you just save me some? I'm gonna get my head together first and work out some more then come in."

"Baby you should really eat." Concern in her voice.

"I know. I will later. But please."

"Okay. It'll be in the microwave for later. But the kids want to see you."

"I'll be in a little before dinner is done, okay?"

"Alright. Please don't bust up your hands."

"I won't honey." She turns my music back up, blows me a kiss, then closes the door.

About a half hour later and a few exercises later, I grab a towel, water bottle, and my purse and head back in. My ears are met by laughter and joking, that brings such joy in my heart. I stop to lean into the doorway and watch my family interact. Grey and Sofia are talking a teacher they both don't like, Hayden and Adam are arguing about what sports they should join for the spring season, Peyton and Arizona are giggling over who knows what. Peyton connects with my eyes and she hops out of her chair.

"Mama!" As Peyton jumps into my arms as I get down on her level and I almost topple over.

"Hi my sweet girl. Como estas?"

"Muy bien Mama."

"I'm happy to hear that. How was it spending the day at Tio Tim's?" I ask.

"It was so much fun. I got a new doll from Tia Kara!" Then she starts talking a mile a minute talking about what she did with her new doll.

"Why don't you go back and finish dinner and we can talk when we get ready for bed?"

"Okay!" She agrees. I towards the table putting a kiss on all my kids heads and lastly I turn my girl's head by putting my finger under her chin and giving her a proper kiss. 'Hmmm.' She purrs. I pull away before it gets too inappropriate in front of the kids. We've always been affectionate in front of the kids but not too bad.

"Feeling lighter babe?" She asks me.

"Sure. We'll talk later."

"Mama, Uncle Tim asked me if I could go hunting with him right before Thanksgiving. He wants me to be a part of the turkey tradition with him and grandpa. Mom said it's okay, but are you okay with it?"

"Yeah, baby boy it sounds fine." I smile at Grey.

I talk to the kids throughout dinner. They barely breathe in between sentences. I love how close my family is. A pang of guilt hits me when I realized that I've kept a huge part of my life from them especially Arizona. But hopefully they'll understand. I can tell them tomorrow, I guess. I clean the dishes and head up to say good night to the kids. They seem exhausted from their day at Tim's. As I'm walking to the master bedroom, I hear Sofia call me.

"Yeah Sof, what's up?" I address her. I haven't really talked to her since the night we fought.

"Mama… - I-I'm sorry about what I said the other night."

"It's fine. Get some sleep." I kiss her head and shut the door behind me. I can't talk about it yet because her words are still haunting me.

When I push through the double doors into my bedroom, I see my wife standing in front of the mirror going about her nightly ritual. I step up behind her and our eyes connect in the mirror. I bring my arms around her from behind and she leans back into my embrace. My gaze is broken from her eyes when I take the time the stare at the body to die for in my hands. I'm so lucky to have this blonde goddess who chooses to love me and I need to show her after shutting her out the past two days.

I bury my face into her neck, " I love you so much baby."

"I love you too Calliope."

My hands splay across her abdomen under her cami. Her muscle tighten under my touch. My left hand travel north to her right breast as my right hand skim under the waist band of the boxer shorts she has on. I squeeze her breast. She whimpers.

"Sweetie the kids just went to bed."

"It's fine. I turned the radio on and the fan. It should block out your screaming."

"Alright." I give her another squeeze. "I've missed having your hands on me." She caves.

"I bet I know what else you miss." I breathe into her ear.

Her hands cover mine. I love when she does this. It turns me on knowing she feels my hands on her body. I place my lips on her weak spot, right under her ear and she turns into putty in my arms. My teeth nip at her skin then tongue skim over to soothe the pain. Her ass is grinding into my front and I know what she's asking for. I remove my hands from under her clothes and yank her boxers down while she kicks from away. Then she removes her cami while I strip down to nothing with her.

We've always been this beautiful contrast with my golden complexion and her glowing alabaster skin. I place hands on her hips and pull her flush against my body. We moan at the skin on skin contact. I kiss along her shoulder to the nape of her neck.

"I'm going to make love to you in front of this mirror. I want you to see how beautiful you are under my touch." I whisper in her ear.

Arizona moans.

Both my hands move to cover her full breasts and give me a squeeze. Her nipples tighten against my palm. My fore finger and thumb roll her pink peaks and pull slightly. She grunts at the slight pain. As my right hand moves towards where she wants it most, my mouth is latched onto her pulse point sucking and nipping, sure to leave my mark on her. I moan seeing she is freshly waxed. I used my feet to indicate for her to spread her legs.

Slowly coming onto her mound her rocks her hips forward. I get the hint. My left hand comes and spreads her labia open to expose her engorged clit. I run my middle finger lightly over her clit. She jerks her hips.

"Oh God, baby please." She groans.

"Don't worry. I'll get you there."

I leave her clit to push my index finger and middle finger towards her entrance but not entering her yet.

"You're dripping wet honey."

"I know. That's what happens when I see you with those gloves on." She breathes out.

She turns her head and crashes our lips together. Her tongue pushes through my lips and teeth and I suck on her tongue the way that drives her crazy. Without her expecting but not hurting her I enter her with three fingers from behind. Her hands fly into my hair and roughly pull at it.

"OH FUCK!"

"I love when you're fucking loud for me babe." She loves when I talk dirty to her during sex.

I can't give her release yet and I know I'm driving her up the wall with not keeping a steady pace. One minute I pound my fingers deep into her and the next it'll be long strokes and occasionally I hold my hand deep inside her and just scissor my fingers against her walls. Her unadulterated moans are gradually getting louder.

"Calliope…"

"What baby?"

"Please"

"Please what?" I give long slow stroke with my fingers. It's enough to make her breath hitch.

"You know what I want?" She grunts.

"You have to tell me."

"Just make me come already. Fuckkkk."

"Is that what you want?" I tease.

"Yessss baby. I'm begging you."

"Okay. But I need you to do something for me." I smirk. I have a whole other plan.

"Hmmm?"

"I'll make you come so hard baby but when you think you're going to just try to hold off and keep your eyes open."

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

"Just hold off until I say so. Okay? And keep your eyes on me."

"Okay…" a little hesitant to my command.

I drive my fingers into her so fast that you hear the slap her wetness. My other hand comes down to rub her clit. Arizona is starting to tremble against me. The sensation of my fingers on her sex and teeth sinking into her shoulder and seeing herself being fucked are almost too much for her.

"Baby…I….can't…I…need…" Her chest is rising and falling quickly.

"Not yet." I grunt.

Still moving at a fast pace, I feel her walls sucking me in deeper. I almost have her where I need her to me.

"I…I…oh…god…I'm…" She can't even speak anymore.

That's when I know I'm deep enough, I hook my fingers inside of her and rub at her g spot roughly and move my arm as if I'm pulling at her. My other hand is rubbing circles around her clit furious like I know how she likes it.

"NOW Arizona!" I yell.

That's when my wife bursts at the seams as her orgasm hits her so damn hard.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! CALLIOPE!" She screams at the top of her lungs.

I pull my three fingers out from her entrance and flick my fingers across her clit rapidly to milk this out of her as much as I can. I bring my arm across her breasts to hold her as her knees give out. I help her ride out her intense orgasm. She ejaculates right into my lap and she jerks sporadically until I know she goes limp in my arms. When I don't get a response from her, that's when I realized she's passed out.

I carry her and put her under our covers. Tangling our legs and with me lying at her side, drawing patterns on her chest with my finger while my other hand is stroking her hair. I place light feather kisses on her freckles on her chest to try to wake her. She starts to stir a bit. I keep my eyes on her until I see hazy baby blue eyes stare at me. She blinks and a smile creeps at her beautiful mouth.

"Hi." Arizona whispers.

"Hey you. Good to have you back.' I smile.

"Good to be back. That was new babe. Where'd that come from?" She chuckles.

I laugh. "I just wanted to try something new."

Her mood shifts suddenly when her eyes become serious, "we need to talk about what happen with Sofia and everything."

"I know. Just not right now. I wanted to make love to you and lay in your arms tonight. I'll open that part of my life tomorrow. Is that okay?" I ask sheepishly and avoiding her gaze.

Arizona places her hand on my cheek and I can't help but melt into her hand. She lifts up my gaze to her and she gives me a small smile. "That's sounds perfectly fine with me baby. No come here."

I kiss her deeply then settle into her arms. I lay my head in the crook of her neck and place a kiss there. Our fingers intertwine and she places them by her heart and wraps her other arm around my back. This is my version of heaven right here.

"I love you Calliope. No matter what we talk about tomorrow it won't change that. You are my everything and I'll protect you and your heart."

"God I love you Arizona. I know I'll be able to talk about it as long as you're there." I start to doze off.

"Goodnight baby."

"Night…"

AN: I hope it was worth the long read. Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

AN: A lot of dialogue in this chapter. I think it most stories we don't really get a lot of talk and more detail. Anyways, I have a pretty hectic week ahead so I probably won't be able to update until the weekend. But there is a chance I might get an ice day tomorrow! So there's hope. All the mistakes are mine. Feel free to comment.

Chapter 5

Arizona's POV

I woke up first to see my wife's limbs tightly wrapped around my body. Staring down at Calliope I find her brow deeply furrowed and her arms grip at my midsection even tighter. It looks like she is having a bad dream. I rub her back hoping to calm her down but she starts to whimper and I can feel wetness on my chest.

"Please, don't hurt me." Callie begs.

I try to wake her up but she's stuck in her dream. I slip out from out of her grasp and I don't know what to do. She hardly has any bad dreams. Callie rolls onto her back and I scoot closer to her. I put my hand on her chest to try to wake her up again.

"I promise I won't do it again. Please stop." She cries even harder.

"Calliope…please wake up. You're okay honey."

"No! I swear I'll be good. Stop! Stop! Dad please!" She yells. Her head is jerking side to side and her limbs are flailing. I dodge her arm. She's never been this bad. I sit up and straddle her hips, put my hands on her shoulder to hold her down.

"Calliope! Wake up!" I scream.

Her eyelids fly open and she is terrified while she tries to settle back into reality. I slowly let go of her shoulders. She starts sobbing and I pull her up sitting. Wrapping my arms around her shoulder Callie buries her face in my neck and her arms come around my waist. I have no idea what she was dreaming about but I swore she said 'Dad stop'. I hush her to calm down a bit and when she does I pull back slightly to look at her. She looks so broken.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs.

"For what baby? You had a bad dream. Wanna talk about it?"

She nods. "I know I said that I would talk and I will but I would rather do it all at once. I know Sofia wants to know too."

"Okay. Sweetie, we can all talk after breakfast. But who are you telling today?" I ask.

"Well you. Uhm…Sofia but I think Grey is old enough to hear this. I don't think Hayden should hear any about this yet."

"Those three can go to Kelsey's, if you want." I suggest.

"That'll work. I would rather they not hear me. I'm gonna go start breakfast and let Kelsey know." I slide off her lap and let her leave. I'm a little taken aback with how she just handled that. I head to the kitchen to see if I can help prepare breakfast but Callie looks so out of it. Her eyes are glazed over and her movements looked too programmed. I don't want to startle her so I just head up stairs to wake up the kids.

I crack open Peyton's door, she's already up, "Morning baby, you can head down stairs. Breakfast should be ready soon."

"Okay mommy." She smiles.

Adam is already going towards the stairs. "Good morning Mom." He grunts. I run my hand through his hair and chuckle. I enter Grey's room and he's fighting consciousness. I plop down and rip the covers from over his head.

"Ugh, mom." Trying to grab at his sheets.

"Time to wake up baby boy. See you in a second for breakfast." I say cheekily.

I move to Sofia's door and she's sitting up against her headboard. "Morning baby girl, foods ready."

"Okay, I'll be down in a sec."

Callie went all out of breakfast eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, pancakes. Not that I'm complaining. Everyone is seated and chatting and Callie is acting like her normal self. It's a little unnerving that she can act like nothing is wrong.

"Sofia. Grey. I need to speak with you guys after breakfast." She addresses them.

"Uhm, okay mama." Grey answers and Sofia just nods.

"Mama what about us?" Adam asks.

"You, Pey, and Hayden are gonna go hang out at Aunt Kelsey's while I talk to these two."

She receives a bunch of 'yays' and they go about eating. After breakfast I pick up the dishes while Calliope takes the kids to her best friend's. I'm not sure how this is going to work but I need to be here for Callie no matter what she tells us today. I'm assuming her dream had something to do with this. I hear the back door open. _Here we go._

"Where do you want to be sweetie?" I ask my wife.

"The living room." She goes in and takes a seat on the love seat. I sit down next to her.

"Grey! Sofia! Can you guys come in here?" Callie shouts. My kids walk in a little hesitant but sit down across from us. I place my hand on her knee to give support and I feel her relax.

**Callie's POV**

My wife and kids are just staring at me waiting for me to start somewhere but I don't even know where to begin. I know I initiated this but I guess the only way to go about it is jump in head first. I take a deep breath.

"This isn't easy for me to talk about. My parents are a very touchy subject. I'm addressing this to the both of you, well the three of you, because you deserve to know why I keep them away from us." I turn towards Sofia, "You already have a relationship with them, I'm not trying to bad mouth them I'm just telling how I grew up. You can establish how they play out in your life. I'm not going to persuade you." I address Grey, "Same goes for you. If you want a relationship with them, then fine. But you two asked why I cut them off." They both nod for me to really start.

"I was never good enough for your grandparents. I did everything I could to please them but it never matter. The bar was always out of reach. If I got an A- it needed to be at A. If I was nominated vice president for my class, I should have been president. If I dropped 5 pounds, I should have dropped 10. You get the picture. They made me feel about an inch. Your grandma was the worst one at doing that." I take a calming breath.

"Dad left when I was around 5 because he has having an affair with another woman. Mom knew but being Catholic she didn't believe in divorce. She was willing to live with her knowing he was with another woman just so God didn't look down upon her. But dad filed for divorce anyways. They fought all the time. I would even get caught in the middle. I cried all the time because I felt like it was my fault." Shaking my head to rid of the memory of the screaming I would constantly hear.

_Four years old with my back to the door_

_All I could hear was the family war_

_Your selfish hands always expecting more_

_Am I your child or just a charity ward?_

"When they separated, he had a whole new family. Her name was Tina and she had a daughter Tiffany. He became her dad and left me and Aria to fend for ourselves. We both grew up with her when they got married and it wasn't so bad. I actually learned to love them like my second family up until I was 11." _Oh God. I can't go back into this. _I pack down the feeling of nausea that tries to creep up.

_You have a hollowed out heart_

_But it's heavy in your chest_

_I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless_

_Hopeless, you're hopeless_

"You know being a teenager you start to give attitude even when you don't get why. I was bad at this and even worse because as much as I loved Tina and Tiffany, I still felt like my dad thought I wasn't enough so he went looking for a better daughter. So I started to act out more. Not answering my phone when my dad called, not listening when anybody asked me to do something, being a jerk pretty much. But my dad had enough of my bullshit eventually and he came and pulled me out of school one day."

_Oh, father, please, father_

_I'd love to leave you alone_

_But I can't let you go_

_Oh, father, please, father_

_Put the bottle down_

_For the love of a daughter_

_Oh_

I lift myself off the love seat next to Arizona and move to the recliner to give myself space to continue.

"I didn't know he was planning on it and I was even more confused why during a school day. I got in his truck and he looked at me and I saw rage in his eyes. I was terrified. He yelled for a straight hour telling me how disrespectful I was and how shitty of a person I was. Next thing I know he pulled into an empty parking lot. Then he parked his truck. Turned to me and slapped me across the face. I was so shocked I didn't know what happened. Then he kept going. I took punches to my face and body and yanked my hair off my head. I tried not to cry. When he thought I had enough he apologized but he said that he was my father so he had every right to do what he wanted. At school I used every type of make-up to cover up bruises and use every lie in the book to make my injuries seem like accidents. " I feel tears streaming down my face. I look up to see my wife with unshed tears and my kids with shocked faces.

"He would take me home after like he didn't lay a hand on me and I was so scared that I didn't say anything. He convinced me that it was my fault he hit me. Up until I was 13 he consistently beat me when he thought I was being 'stupid' or if he needed to blow off some steam. I was literally his punching bag. I hid at friend's houses when I thought he would come get me. But it never worked. He always found me. I begged mom to pick me up so dad wouldn't hurt me but she didn't think that dad would ever lay hands on his first born. She was so wrong."

_It's been five years since we've spoken last_

_And you can't take back_

_What we never had_

_Oh, I can be manipulated_

_Only so many times,_

_Before even "I love you"_

_Starts to sound like a lie_

I push to keep talking. "In high school, I barely talked to him or saw him. I joined so many different sports and clubs so I always had an excuse to not see him. Incidents rarely happened the older I got. The only reason I had a relationship with him is because of Aria. She loved dad and I wasn't taking away a part of her family to protect myself. Plus I had to make sure he would never lay a hand on her which he never did."

_You have a hollowed out heart_

_But it's heavy in your chest_

_I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless_

_Hopeless, you're hopeless_

"Only one incident happened when I was 19, I had asked for money for Aria so she could stick with her dance classes. He thought I was being disrespectful and that I should have been so lucky for still having a father in my life. I couldn't care less if he stuck around. He punched me so hard in the ribs that I had bruised ribs on both sides. He even broke my nose by bashing my face on the dashboard. The reason he got so upset was because he had to file for bankruptcy because Tina sucked the money out of him after their divorce." I can see this incident playing out in my eyes. My voice is flat. I hear my wife choke back a sob as so do Sofia and Grey.

_Oh, father, please, father_

_I'd love to leave you alone_

_But I can't let you go_

_Oh, father, please, father_

_Put the bottle down_

_For the love of a daughter_

"Then when I was 21, I came out to my parents. I had my first girlfriend, Sarah, and she didn't deserve to be my secret. I brought her home to meet Aria first. I figure starting out with my sister would be easier and it was. Sarah and her clicked right away and she told me she would be with me when I came out to our mom. I didn't beat around the bush. I sat her down and I said, 'I'm a lesbian and I have a girlfriend. Please don't hate me.' She got up and called my dad right away."

_Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?_

_How could you push me out of your world,_

_Lied to your flesh and your blood,_

_Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved?_

_Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?_

_How could you throw me right out of your world?_

_So young when the pain had begun_

_Now forever afraid of being loved_

I get up from the couch and start pacing. Eyes are just following me and not saying anything. I think they're scared that if they say something I'll shut down again, which I might.

"Like I said the incidents with dad were pretty much non-existent until mom called yelling at him. I'll never forget what she said. S-she said, 'what in the hell did you do to our daughter that she has become the largest sin to walk this earth?'

_Oh, father, please, father_

_I'd love to leave you alone_

_But I can't let you go_

_Oh, father, please, father_

"They argued on the phone for a while until I heard someone knock on the door. It was dad. He said he taking me back to school. My fear paralyzed me to obey him. He drove for two hours without saying one thing to me. I thought he was processing and hoped for the best. I entered my apartment, no one was home. I turned to face him when he swung at my jaw. I fell onto the floor and he kicked at my ribs for God knows how I long." I take a break and will myself to calm down. I force myself to stop pacing and face them.

"I f-felt my r-ribs break under his blows. My nose was re-broken when he threw me against the door. I begged for him to stop. He didn't listen. He said if I was going to live like a dyke I should be treated like one, as if I was nothing. I tried crawling away b-but the harder he would pull, punch, kick, anything to hurt me. At some point, it stops then the door shut. I passed out from the pain. Eventually I heard my roommates p-panicking and calling 911 when they found me in our living room. Next time I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. I had a broken arm, twisted knee, broken ribs and nose again, my jaw w-wired shut, and my eye was so swollen I c-couldn't see out of it."

I sob through the end. I lived at the hospital for months after that. If it wasn't for my roommates I wouldn't have made it.

"I nearly failed out of college because I couldn't attend classes for months. I lost all contact with my family. No one spoke to me after I came out. My parents made sure there was alone. I couldn't even talk to Aria. I even lost my girlfriend at the time. Sarah said my family too complicated to try to stick around. I was all sorts of broken. After I finally healed I decided I needed to leave Michigan as fast as I could. Dad was never arrested because he paid off the officers to keep his record clean. I had nothing but my trauma and loans."

_Oh, father, please, father_

_Put the bottle down_

_For the love of a daughter_

_For the love of a daughter_

"I buried myself in school and I graduated early. Then I applied to every prestigious medical school program. I attended Hopkins and never looked back. My parents didn't know I left for Seattle after I was done with med school." This is when anger sets in.

"They tried to keep me there but I refused. I packed everything I owned and shipped it off to my new place in Seattle. They only wanted to me stay because they said I couldn't be a doctor if I was a sinner. Doing something so good wouldn't be enough for me to not go to hell. I had enough of their beliefs and how they didn't even care after my own father attacked me so I left and cut them off. I felt like I could breathe again and felt safe when I met your mom. She breathed life back into me and she doesn't even know it. Having you kids and being married to the most amazing woman fixed me."

I give my wife a small smile.

"My past is my past. I buried everything about who I was before because that person wasn't capable of love or being loved. I was so crippled by my past that I hit depression terribly during my residency. Even when I was 12 I thought about suicide and I started cutting to relieve some of the hurt. Eventually I got the help I needed and started to find myself again. I need you to understand that I have my reasons for them not being a part of my life let alone yours. I also wanted to make sure I gave you guys everything my parents didn't." I'm on the verge of the dam breaking.

"I-I wasn't trying to hide a-all this from you. I just couldn't o-open myself to all the heartache again without s-sinking back into old habits." _I'm done. The dams broken._

I rush out of the room and run up the stairs. I know I should have stuck around for them to say something but I couldn't. I shut the door behind me and crawl into Arizona's side of the bed. Her scent instantly relaxes me and I sob into her pillow. I wrap my arms around myself like I used to when the pain was unbearable. This is why I never said anything.

The warmth of my wife's body presses into my back. I turn into her burying my face into her chest. She moves her arm around me and squeezes me. I clutch at her shirt while I ball my eyes out.

"Shhh, Calliope you're safe now. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so deeply sorry but you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm here." Arizona whispers into my hair and presses her lips on my head.

"P-p-please don't go anywhere. I n-need you here." I plead.

I cry hard while my wife just holds me until my body gives into pure exhaustion.

AN: So…? Intense chapter right? It's long. But the song in this chapter is For The Love For a Daughter by Demi Lovato. Some of the events from this chapter do come from my life. I'll update soon!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Here it is. :) All characters are owned by ABC and Shonda. All the mistakes are my own.

* * *

Chapter 6

Arizona's POV

Calliope runs out of the room and I hear our bedroom door shut. My heart aches for my wife's past and I don't understand how anyone could hurt someone like that especially someone like Callie. The pain I feel is probably only a small fraction of what flashback does to her. I look across from me to look at Sofia sobbing and Grey silently crying. Standing from the couch I hug them tightly in my arms and place a kiss on their heads. I pull away.

"I'm going to check on your Mama, okay?" They nod.

"Why don't you guys go over to Aunt Kelsey's to relax after everything your mother just opened up to you about?"

"Uhm, yeah that sounds good. Can you tell Mama I love her?" Grey asks. I give a small smile because even at 16 he still has this amazing bond with Callie.

"I didn't m-mean to push her. I d-didn't know." I turn to Sofia who just sobs even harder.

I hug her tightly, "Baby, you didn't know. I didn't know either. She didn't have to tell you but she thought you deserved to know. She loves you so much Sof. Don't forget that. You have to believe what she said, you helped fix a part of her that was broken. Okay?"

"Okay." She sniffs. "I guess we better go. Tell Mama I love her too. Please?"

"Of course I will. We'll talk about this later. I know she didn't say so, but keep this between us. The younger ones don't need to get ideas into their head about that kind of stuff." They both shake their heads in agreement.

"I'll call you guys later. Probably around dinner time."

Grey and Sofia leave and I head up stairs to my wife. I enter the room and what I see shatters my heart. She's bawling so hard into my pillow and lying on my side of the bed. I don't know what she needs. I slide under the comforter with her and wrap myself around her shaking body. Calliope turns into my chest and let's go all of her tears. I clasp my arms securely around her while she clutches onto my shirt.

"Shhh, Calliope you're safe now. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so deeply sorry but you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm here." I don't have much to say besides I'm sorry. It probably doesn't mean much but I am. I kiss her hair.

"P-p-please don't go anywhere. I n-need you here." She begs.

"I'm not going anywhere. Before Grey and Sofia left they wanted me to tell you they love you. I love you so much Calliope." I let her cry it out and eventually she fades into whimpers then nothing. Her chest is rising and falling at a deep and even pace telling me she's fallen asleep from pure exhaustion. I can't think about letting go because I never realized how much she's been through.

As a doctor you learn about all sorts of ways people get injured and how to treat them. People can hurt you; probably by strangers or friends but you never care to think that your own flesh and blood would cause you pain. We even have to learn protocols for people we suspect being abused by spouses or parents and it's the worst feeling in the world. But in the end, it's for the best and for that kid's or person's protection. _I wonder if anyone tried to save her._

I look down to Calliope's face and right now she looks at peace. When she recounted her life in a matter of an hour, her voice sounded so detached. It's weird because she wears her heart on her sleeve, or you could say in her eyes, but no emotion just petrified me. All I want to do is take away the pain but that's not possible. _What do we do about her parents?_

Her parents have to be in Seattle, right? If they magically ran into Sofia, they must still be around. After hearing those stories, how do I trust them to have a relationship with my two eldest children? They can make their own decision about them but I don't really trust them now either. Sure they could be entire completely different people now but why would they just now want to know they're daughters family? My head is spinning with questions and choices but I won't even try to tackle those without Calliope. I'm just going to fall asleep with her and if she need me I'm right here. Just like I said earlier I'm not going anywhere.

* * *

Sofia's POV

Grey and I head over to Aunt Kelsey's after Mama's confession. I stare out the window as scenery passes us by. Grey has been really quiet. I guess him and I will talk later. But I'm having a hard time process all this because I don't know how that could have felt like. I can't believe I have been a complete bitch to her when I really had no idea how she grew up. My grandparents haven't done anything to me but I don't understand how they could do those things to Mama. I know for a fact Mama would never touch me like abuelo had done to her. _How could he break his own daughter's bones?_ Maybe I'll talk to Aunt Kelsey. They've been best friends since high school. She has to know.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Grey shuts off the engine. We sit in the car in silence for a second.

"I'm grateful that Mama has never laid on hand on any of us no matter how frustrated she gets with us. I mean I know I've done some things that pissed her off and she might have yelled a bit but never took it out of line. It explains her hobby of kick boxing though." Grey is speaking in monotone.

I laugh at his last statement. He's right. I nod. "Yeah. I always imagine abuelo and abuela to be this loving couple who loved their kids like how Mom and Mama love us and trying to run around with Pey and Adam in the back yard. Abuelo cooking on the grill and abuela bugging mom for baby pictures of all of us. But now I'm a little lost on what I'm supposed to think of them."

"I always thought the same thing but now, I don't know. You have somewhat of a relationship with them; they didn't come off as people to do that, right?"

I shake my head no. "No, they didn't. I almost don't want to believe what Mama said but I know she wasn't lying. They want to see me sometime next week. Grey, what do I do?"

"Mama said she wasn't trying to persuade you. I would rather you didn't see them but it's up to you." Grey has always been protective of all of us. It probably comes from Mama and Uncle Tim but I get it.

"I guess I should see them. Do I not bring up all the stuff Mama told us?"

"Absolutely not!" He shrieks.

"Okay, calm down. I won't." I jump when someone knocks on my window. I open the door when I realize its Adam.

"Aunt Kelsey said to come inside." Then he runs back into the house. We get out of the car and head in. We are always here or Aunt Kelsey and her kids are always at our house. None of us are blood related but it doesn't matter. She'll always been like our third mom but always the cool aunt who spoils us.

"Hey kiddos. How's it going?" Aunt Kelsey greets us.

"Okay…" I drag out. "I was wondering if I could talk to you." She nods.

"Uhm, I'll go hang with everyone else. I don't need to be a part of this conversation." He turns towards me, "Do something."

"They're all in the basement doing God knows what. Probably tearing the place down." She giggles. Grey leaves us alone then Aunt Kelsey and I head into her bedroom.

"What's up with you and Grey?"

"Nothing. He's kind of upset with me. Its my fault." I leave it at that. I lie down on her side and look up at the ceiling. I feel the bed dip and she has her head in hand waiting for me to start.

"I can't read your mind, ya know?"

"I know. I don't know how to ask or where to start." All my thoughts are jumbled up.

"Okay, well who or what do you want to ask about?" She prompts.

"Mama."

"Callie?"

"Yeah. She told me, mom, and Grey about how she grew up earlier today."

She sits up right away with a look of shock take over her features. I look over to her and I don't think she expected me to say that.

"Whoa. Uh… What brought that up?" She treads lightly.

"I kind have been talking to my grandparents since they randomly dropped by the hospital."

"And…?"

"I haven't been the nicest person to Mama because I assumed she didn't have a good reason for shutting them out of her life and ours." I say with shame.

"Oh boy." She paused. "And what exactly what do you want to talk about?"

"You guys have been good friends for a long time, right?" She nods. "Well what was she like back then?"

"I knew about how and when they started when she was 11 but I never experience her going through an incident until she was 19. It was the time when her dad beat her because she asked for money for Aria's dance classes. She talked about that one?"

I answer, "yeah".

"You know I'm three years younger than her so I had no idea how to handle that type of information. At the time, I had never seen her so broken. She was and is my hero. She was the strongest person I ever known and I still think so but up until that point she always held herself together no matter what her mom or anyone put her through."

I'm finally getting a little perspective from an outsider. I couldn't agree more. Mama has always been strong for everyone else. I can imagine that she was like that before too. I keep quiet so Aunt Kelsey will continue.

"Her dad broke her. She warned me that she doesn't talk about it at all unless someone asks her about it. She also told me that the person I knew her to be was going to fade and fade fast." Aunt Kelsey tries to blink back unshed tears but a tears streak her cheeks. She uses the back of her hands to wipe them away quickly. It's like she felt Mama's pain.

"Callie always wanted to protect me and she's done a good job of doing so and even more so now. But when this was going on, I asked her what she needed from me. I was out of my element and I wanted to help in anyway I could. You know what she said? I still remember clear as day."

I shake my head no.

* * *

_Kelsey's Flashback_

_Callie showed up out of nowhere. She sounded so distraught when she called me and I knew something was wrong. She wouldn't talk at first. It was like pulling teeth out of her but once she started opening up the floodgates opened. I'm sitting up against my headboard while Callie is hugging my legs with her head on my lap. I run my fingers in her hair with one hand while the other is rubbing her back hoping to calm her down. She hasn't gone into much detail but I'm going to wait it out._

_Callie opens up, "I never had to come to you about this before and I honestly thought I never I would have to." Her voice sounds so rough from her crying._

_"I didn't think he was going to come after me again. This time, I didn't even see it coming. He said lets go to lunch and we can talk about the money situation with Aria. He offered before so I didn't see the big deal." I see her struggle to push through. "Then he started yelling about how I'm lucky to have a father and I felt like my body went back in time to those times when I was 12. Where I just sat there and took it all and what do you know? I did it again even at 19." Her shoulders slump even more._

_"At first, it was slap to the face. He always starts that way. Then he moved to pulling at my hair to get me to look at him. Then I felt his fist pounding into my sides. I tried to turn from him and he would yank at my arms so he could take open shots at me." I wince at the pain I can only imagine of feeling. Tears start to sting my eyes as I watch the emotions play through my best friends face as she talks. "When that was enough for him, he put his hand behind my head and pushed my face into the dashboard it front of me. My head bounced off so quickly but the pain went all to my nose. I was bleeding heavily so I figured he broke it. I don't even know why he did it this time."_

_Now that I'm really looking at her face I see the distortion in her nose. A shade of black is starting to come through on her tan complexion. I feel myself crying for the person I love so much. Callie doesn't deserve this but what can I do? I've never had to deal with this before. My parents have never hurt me with their own hands. A roll of nausea waves through me as I think about how painful all of that is._

_"Cal. Do you mind if I check out your ribs? You said he kept hitting you their?" She starts to shake even harder into my lower half but she shifts so she's on her back but she's facing the opposite wall from me. _

_"I'm gonna lift your shirt up, okay?" I warn. She just shakes her head. I place my hands at the hem of her shirt and push it up gently. I gasp falls from my mouth at the sight before me. I run my hands over her ribs and she flinches at my touch. They don't feel broken. I check the other side and they look the same; black, blue, purple. I pull her shirt back down. I can't stand to look at it anymore. Callie is silently sobbing and refuses to look at me. I put my finger under her chin to turn her face. Her eyes look so shattered._

_"What do you need from me sweetie? I don't know what to do right now. But I can't do nothing. So please. Say something. Anything." I beg. _

_"It might be stupid to you and might not make any sense but I need you to wait for me. Let me fade away and crash at the bottom but wait long enough for me to come back up from all the pain and darkness. Because right now that's all I'm going to feel for a while. Sitting at the bottom is comfortable because I'll convince myself that no one can hurt me there. Just wait for me. Please. So I'm asking you to not give up on me. I might not be the best friend you need for a while but I will be eventually. I need you to wait."_

_"It's not stupid Cal. I'll wait for as long as you need. I'm not going to leave you in the dust. He must have really done it this time for you to be this broken. You aren't usually like this. I know you. You might fade but you'll come back. You have to come back to me. Please. No matter how long it'll take, just come back. I'll be waiting." I sob. I adjust Callie carefully so she's under the covers and I move in behind her. I pull her into my arms hoping I'll give her a sense of security even if it's just for one night._

_End of Flashback_

* * *

I blow my nose into the tissue Aunt Kelsey hands to me. "How long did you have to wait?"

"A long time. I saw the version of my best friend come in and out for a while. At some point she gradually come back to me. It took about half a year, probably a little longer." I gape at her answer.

"What did you expect?" She gives me a hard stare. "What she went through was a nightmare but her nightmare was her reality. It's not something you magically get over. It takes work. You think it's easy to separate the wrong and right when your own head is playing against you because that's what her mind did to her." She takes a deep breath to calm down.

"She convinced herself that she deserved what came to her. Callie didn't think she deserved better. That every time it happened, it was somehow her fault. But her head was wrong, he was in the wrong. She deserved everything and treated her like nothing!"

"Callie has the biggest heart I've ever seen. It can be her greatest down fall. She tries to constantly make everyone else happy no matter the personal cost. It's what she does. It's who she is. But sometimes it traps her to believe things that aren't true." She explains. I agree. Mama has a big heart and I think I got that from her. I also think that's why I don't want to believe that someone I'm related to can hurt someone so good.

"She's the best person I know. Callie never had to take me under her wing when I was freshman but she saw something in me. She threw all her faith into me and turned me into an amazing version of myself. Callie protected me through all the bad and took on every attack towards me. I love her something fierce. I can honestly say that she has never let me down. Any time I needed something she was there to be what I needed. She's one of a kind, a fighter, my blessing in disguise." She pauses. It's the first time she looks me dead in the eyes.

"I know you don't know what all those thing your Mama has went through and neither do I but don't hurt her Sof. She can get pretty vulnerable opening herself up to all that pain. It still has a strong affect on her. I know you want to believe that she's exaggerating but she's not. Don't hurt her because as much as I love you Sof, I'll protect her. It's the least I could do and I can't let even my goddaughter hurt my best friend more."

"I'll try not to and you're right I wouldn't know. I'm just lost after finding all of this stuff. I wanted some insight and what she was like before. She's amazing in her own right but mom…"

_What is wrong with you? Why are constantly comparing Mom and Mama even with knowing all of this?!_

"But mom what?" Aunt Kelsey looks confused.

I shrink into my seat. "I told Mama that I didn't want to be anything like her the other night. I get that she went through a lot but…" I shake my head because that doesn't even make sense. I don't get why I'm fighting this. Mom has always been my hero and Mama has always been the bad guy. Even at 17, I still think that. Why can't I let it go? Abuelo and abuela aren't what you imagined it's not Mama's fault.

"YOU WHAT?!" I shrink even more.

"If there is anyone I would want my kids to be like its Callie. She's the definition of strength. I don't even know what to say to that but I feel like there's more to that." She pinches her nose with her index finger and thumb.

"Why don't you go hang out with everyone else down stairs? I can't really talk about this anymore. Okay?" Aunt Kelsey lays on her back with her arm thrown over her eyes. I get off the bed, right at the door way I stop.

"I wish I could take back what I said but I don't really want to."

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AN: What's Sofia's problem with Callie? When are Callie's parents visiting again? How will Arizona react when that happens? Is Callie going to be okay after opening up about her past? So much to reveal!

Sorry for the wait everyone. But as a busy college student the weekends are usually the only time I'll be able to write. Anyways, I hope it was good enough for the wait. I'm pushing it get a couple more chapters up before the end of the weekend. Love your reviews. :) Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Fluff. Give some happy times to the family. Think they deserve it?

AN: All mistakes are mine. Everything belongs to Shonda!

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Chapter 7

Arizona's POV

The kids enjoyed their day with their Aunt Kelsey. She's been our safe haven when Callie and I need some time together. Sofia seems to be okay after our talk with Callie yesterday. As for my wife, she seems a little distant and trying to act like she's okay but I can see right through her. She's trying to put up a front for all the kids which I can understand but she's trying to do it with me too. I won't push too much. I found out a while ago that I have to let her come to me or else it'll just blow up in my face.

The kids are on winter break right now so they're all spread out on the furniture in the living room trying to find something to watch. I'm sitting on the love seat with Peyton sitting in between my legs. I would say this is a piece of heaven and it is, but my wife seems to be MIA right now.

"Hey guys. What do you think about having a good ole' family bake off?" I turn my head at my wife's voice.

"Yeah!" "Can I be a captain?!" "Yay!" Is the mix of reactions from the group. It's Callie's favorite thing to do with the kids. She invented this tradition when she had a day off with the kids and they were fighting like crazed animals. So she figured why not turn things into friendly competition. It worked well for us. I love it because I get a bunch of desserts! Who could turn that down?

"Okay, you guys play rock-paper-scissors to find two who will be captains." Callie commands.

Adam and Hayden are standing in front of kitchen with questioning look on their faces trying to strategize who will be on their teams. These two are competitive so I expect this to be interesting.

"Okay Hayden, call it in the air." Callie flips the coin the air. "Tails!" The coin lands in her palm and places it on the back of her palm. "Heads."

"Yes! Me first! Okay…" Hayden contemplates who he will choose first. "Sofia"

"Mom" Adam says right after.

"Peyton"

"Grey"

"Mama"

"Leila" Adam has the last pick. Leila is spending the day with her godmother. Callie takes her duties seriously seeing as it's her best friend's kid but they're very close. Anything she needs Callie gives it to her, for the most part.

"The theme to this bake off is your pick Adam." Callie says. Adam taps his chin with his index finger thinking hard. His eyes light up the minute he came up with the theme. "Super heroes!" Callie nod in agreement.

We move to the corners of the kitchen all with our teams. Calliope looks over her shoulder to me and winks at me. I smirk at her and turn back to my team. The rules are simple really. Each team has a half hour to plan what they are going to bake. It could be anything, a pie, cake, brownies, cookies, cupcakes, as long as the theme fits then we're good. After deciding what the game plan is, we all bake at the same time for a maximum of four hours. When Callie made up this thing, she decided that each team has to make enough to serve some of the families on my peds ward and a second batch just for us. They would have to cast their vote on which desert they liked the best according to taste and presentation without knowing whose was who. We count up the tallies then winner gets to choose dinner and chores for the other team for the week. We also hide our creations in separate fridges.

My wife's a genius. The kids and families love being a part of our family tradition.

Adam, Grey and Leila go into the living room deciding what to do. We throw some ideas around but none of that are satisfying us.

"What about Power Rangers? We could do cupcakes?" Adam suggests.

"Eh. What about the classic super heroes? Like Superman, Batman, Spiderman. I like the cupcake idea." Grey says.

"Those are all boys. What about some girls in this?" Leila throw in her two cents.

"It's up to you guys. I just like to decorate." I giggle. I'm not very creative but I like frosting things.

"I have an idea but I don't know how you guys feel about it." Grey looks anywhere but at us.

"What is it?" Leila asks.

"Wha- what about Mama?" He stutters. "I mean she might not be a super hero but she might as well be." I look at my son in awe. Grey is definitely his mother's son. Callie and Grey have a bond that is more than just mother and son and different from the other kids. It's not a favoritism thing but they understand each other. He would only go back to sleep when Callie held him and he only goes to her when something is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I know my son loves me but his relationship with Calliope is one I love to see. He has so many of her qualities.

"Yeah! I like that." Adam shrieks. Leila smiles. "I agree. She'll love it. Plus I think it might cheer her up. I don't know what's going on with her but she's been down lately. Or is that just me?" She adds.

"She'll absolutely love it guys. And Lei, she's been a little off with some personal issues but don't worry about it. But this would totally make her feel better. So cupcakes focused on all things about Mama?" I get all smiles in return. We talk about all the different way we can do this and set up our idea.

"Times up!" Callie yells from the kitchen.

Our team heads back into the kitchen. Everything is set up along the table for whatever we need.

"So now that everyone has planned on what to do, we all have four hours to make a good decent size batch for Peds tomorrow. The prize will be choosing dinner for the week and chores for the other team for the week. Deal?"

"Deal" All the kids say in unison.

"Ready, set, let's bake!" Callie hits the timer to start. Our kitchen is huge. When we went searching for house a long time ago, a kitchen was on Callie's top priority. She saw this place and loved it. It's spacious, island at the center, granite top counters, double stack oven, disguisable refrigerator that is triple the size of a normal one, its like heaven to her. Of course, she renovated a few things to fit for her but we get to do things like this in here without bumping into each other.

Four hours later, the kitchen is a mess but it smells delicious at what's been baked. We try to keep our creation from each other. They are placed in their respective fridges for the night and tomorrow during rounds everyone will vote.

"Hey Karev, can I borrow Wilson during rounds?" I ask my protégé.

"Uhm, sure. But why?" He looks questioningly at me.

"We had family bake off yesterday." I smile at the memory.

"Oh sweet! I get some right?!"

"Yeah, don't forget to cast your vote." I chuckle. Karev only participated in this because he got food in return. Wilson walks up next to Alex. I turn to her.

"You follow me. Your with me during rounds then your back on Karev's service." She gives me a stiff nod and follows me to the attending's lounge.

"You're gonna push this cart to every room behind me and ask the families if they want anything to eat. Then ask them to cast their vote. Most of these families know what to do. Oh, and the theme for these are super heroes. The 'A' team is Ortho Robbins and 'B' team is The Avengers." I inform.

"Awh. That's so cute that one is Ortho Robbins. Does she knows that one of the team is dedicated to her?" He smiles.

"No, she has the day off. But she'll find out after I get off. I know she's love it."

We head into one of my favorite patients, little Johnny. At 10 years old, I diagnosed him with Leukemia a few years ago and I have a strong belief that treatment is finally beating this. Only a treatment or two and he'll be out of here. As much as I love seeing them around, I love it even more when they leave.

"Hi Dr. Robbins!" With the big toothy smile. His mom waves at me from small couch she's stretched out on.

"Besides check on you, I have a treat for you guys."

"What's that?" His eyes catch Wilson rolling the cart in. "Oh my gosh! Bake off?! Let me look." I giggle.

"Go ahead." Jo bring the cart close to the side of his bed. His eyes practically bugs out of his head with his choices. There is a big rectangle vanilla cake, with white fondant background and with The Avengers characters. This was totally Hayden's pick with all my girls' artistic work. Each character in fondant looks exactly like they look in the movie. "Super heroes, huh?"

"Yeah, pick out what you want and you know the rest."

He gives me a weird look as he is looking over the food. "What super hero is this?" He stares at the plate of cupcakes that are chocolate with one half having red frosting and the other have white frosting. Each cupcake has some decoration that goes with something about Calliope like some bones, hearts, armor meaning all different things.

"Oh, for Ortho Robbins."

"Cool, I want one her cupcakes. Can I have the one with the red ste-steth-stethoscope?" Jo hands it to him and writes his vote down.

"Macy, do you want anything?" I ask politely. "No thank you but I cast my vote for the A team."

I go about rounds and it's kinda a unanimous vote of which team wins and I'm beaming with pride. My whole ward and most of the families know that Calliope is my wife. She comes up to my floor all the time to hang with the kids with or without me. She's so caring and I love her for it.

I walk through the door to find my wife passed out with all the kids attached to some part of her in this fort across the whole living room. She loves her time to play with them. It's adorable. Peyton and Hayden are laying on each side of Callie with their heads tucked in the crook of her neck. Adam is hugging with her legs. Grey and Sofia are also her sides but on top of her arms under their neck. I snap a quick photo and set it as my background. That right there is my whole world. I let them be and work around them.

"Hey sexy." I jump at Calliope's voice.

I smile. "Hey yourself." She extracts herself from everyone without disturbing any of them. Striding over to me, she wraps her arms around my waist and nuzzling her nose into my neck and placing a light kiss there.

"I need some snuggles with you right now. What do you say?"

"I want to babe. But we should wake them up, feed them, and then we can do whatever we want." I smirk at the pout she's giving me.

"Fine. Oh wait! Did you count up the tallies?"

"I did. Why don't you set up your team's dessert and I'll get ours. I bought dinner it's sitting on the table already. I figure you tired them out enough that even after their little nap they'll still fall asleep easy."

"Okay, meet in the kitchen in 10." She winks sexily at me.

Callie goes about waking the kids up and they all set themselves up at the table, sounds like they are already starting to eat. I place our team dessert on the counter and eat dinner with everyone. She joins us after setting her team dessert on the island.

"So who won Mom?" Adam asks.

"Everyone ready to find out?" I tease a bit. Everyone shakes there heads vehemently.

"Okay…My tallies say Team A!" I fist pump. Grey, Adam, and Leila all jump up from their seats cheering with me. As for my wife and her team, Hayden, Peyton, and Sofia grumble to themselves about how it's a stupid competition.

I whisper to my team, "Why don't you guys take our winning cupcakes and show Mama?" They get up and grab them from the counter and place them in front of Callie. She gives me a confused look.

"What super hero is this?" She asks.

"It's you Aunt Callie." Leila states proudly.

"Yeah Mama. You're our super hero." Adam chips in.

"It has your red stethoscope cause you're a surgeon, bones cause you're in ortho, a big heart cause you have this huge heart that loves anyone and everyone, a shield cause you try to protect us from everything. There's a lot more but those are couple." Grey explains.

I look at Calliope and she has unshed tears in her eyes. All I see is adoration in her eyes and maybe even thankfulness for feeling appreciated. It saddens me that she thinks that we don't appreciate everything she has done and does for us. She excuses herself from the table.

"She loves it you guys. I swear. I'll be right back. If you guys finish dinner, clean up then go to bed." I get all nods in understanding. I head to follow Callie. She's in the downstairs bathroom.

I know quietly, "Babe, I'm sorry if it was too much." The click of the lock rings in my ears and I turn the handle to go in.

"It wasn't too much. I'm sorry for being so emotional. It just gets to me sometimes the love I feel. I was always told I didn't deserve that and I believed it for a long time. I just love you so much and the kids." A rogue tear falls from her eyes.

"It's okay honey. I understand. We love you so much and I know we don't really say it and barely show it. Ya know it was Grey's idea to use you but we all agreed. I appreciate everything you do not only for me but for each and one of your kids and for your godkids. I love you Calliope." I tear up a bit but hold on. I pull her towards our bedroom to end the night on a good note.

"I love you too Arizona. Thank you. Those cupcakes and the gesture mean everything to me. Let's go to bed baby." She leads us to our bedroom and we fall into bed wrapped up in each other.

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AN: Just a nice chapter for you all but we are about to get the ball rollin. Hoping to upload a chapter tomorrow. :)


	8. Chapter 8

AN: From here, it'll start to be mainly be Arizona's POV. Comment, review, give me your predictions. I love hearing from you! Thank you for reading and the follows and everything else. You guys are the best! Hope all of you are having a good weekend. :)

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Chapter 8

Arizona's POV

I'm not really fond of these kinds of days. Being the head of the department sucks when dealing with budget reports and administrative business instead of cutting in the OR. I've spent most of my day in conference rooms and my office. Now I'm sneaking my way into OR 2 to watch my wife work. It's the sexiest thing to see Calliope holding a bone saw in her hand or when she's breaking bones into place or using her hands using a scalpel with god like precision. I sit down in the front row. It's like she feels my presence because she looks up and sees me. The crinkle by her eyes tells me she's smiling up at me behind her mask. I give her a small nod and a 'super magic smile' as my wife would call it.

Ever since the bake off, Callie looks so much happier but I can't take full credit for it. It was Grey's idea to use her and I couldn't be more grateful for it. I watch her surgery until she gets her intern to close up. Clearly ortho isn't my thing and it's been a while since I've been on an ortho rotation so I have no idea what procedure she just did but I did see some titanium rods. I meet her at the door of the scrub room.

"Hey you." She leans in to give me a chaste kiss.

"Hi sweetie. So good surgery?"

"Perfect as usual. What were you doing in the gallery? Aren't you supposed to be locked up in your office or some conference room all day?"

"Yes, but I finished early and figure since I wasn't planning to do anything else, I would come watch my hot wife in her surgery." I husk.

"I'm glad you showed up. I love it when you watch me." She gives me a smug grin.

"I suggest that you let me treat you to some coffee baby." I smile as she grabs for my hand. We don't hide our relationship in the hospital but we still stay professional. "Sure, I would love that."

After we grab our coffee, we sit at an empty table in the cafeteria. Our hands are sitting on top of the table. We chat about everyday things like our kids, schedules, and work. I find it hard concentrating on what my wife is currently saying because she is so god damn beautiful. I play with her fingers in my hand and she's keeps on yapping. I snap out of my ogling when I see two people stop in front of our table. I look up to their faces to see an elderly man and woman. The man is very clean cut and looks like he demands respect and the woman is more casual in jeans and sweater but staring daggers at me and Callie.

The older man clears his throat. "Dr. Torres?" It's weird to hear someone address my wife with her maiden name. When we got married we were just going to attach each other's last names with the hyphen but she changed her mind. It took me by surprise but I welcomed the changed. Everyone adjusted just fine to her changing her last name. We go by our specialties, Peds Robbins and Ortho Robbins.

Callie snaps her head to attention. "It's Dr. Robbins now or Ortho Robbins." She replies icily. I've never heard her talk to a stranger like that. But these two have a weird aura about them.

"Oh. Uhm. Dr. Torres, may we speak to you privately." The gentleman asks.

She stands up and grips my hand tightly in hers. "Follow me. We aren't doing this out here." I follow next to her trying to gauge her expression but it's a cold hard stare at the older couple. We open the door to a conference room. She lets them in then closes the door behind her. Gliding over to the windows, she shuts the blinds shut to give us privacy.

Callie whispers into my ear, "I'm going to need you here for this but anytime you feel uncomfortable you can go." I nod but give her an odd look. I'm staying and sit down in one of the chairs.

"What do you two want?" Calliope gets straight to the point.

"We just wanted to see you mija." From who I assume now, is Calliope's father.

"Yeah, okay. I know you two talk to Sofia so stop with the bullshit."

"Is that how you are going to talk to your parents?" The woman I can now clearly see is her mother.

"I'll speak to you however I please. Now tell me or we're leaving."

"I'm Carlos and this is Lucia." Carlos sneers at me.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Calliope's wife, Arizona." I hold my hand out and neither one reach for it. Callie puts her hand on top of mine and pushes it back down to my side.

"So you still live this hellish lifestyle." Lucia spits out.

"This is my wife so watch your mouth mother. I'm going to ask one more time. What the hell do you want?" Callie throws back.

"We thought you would get over this stage of your life and the fact you brought five kids into the world this way is beyond me. It was about time we tried to fix this. We just thought you would get your life together by now." Carlos says calmly.

Callie faces me, "Baby I'm warning you that I'm about the get really angry so you can step out of the room because I'm not holding back." The anger I see raging in her eyes can make a grown man cower. I shake my head no and squeeze her hand to show support.

She turns her attention back to her parents and squares her shoulders. She let go of my hands and I step behind her to give her some space.

"You do not get to come to where I work and expect me to take this shit from the both of you! There is a reason why I want nothing to do with you and you are proving me right. Religion isn't everything. Family is. My wife and my kids are the most important thing in my life. The God I believe in, love my family regardless that we're two women. By the way, it's Dr. Robbins now. I dropped Torres the minute we became wives." She is on the verge of yelling but has kept her stern voice.

"Calliope…" Carlos sighs. "God doesn't love or believe in this. Come back to Michigan and we can get things straightened out. You can even keep the kids."

"Mija, please listen to us. We don't want you to go to hell. This is worse than the lies you said about your father beating you." Lucia adds.

My jaw drops at Lucia's words. _How in the hell does someone lie about that kind of thing?_ I watch as my wife's body starts to tremble with fury.

"THAT IS ENOUGH! One, I didn't lie about that mother. I still can't believe you think I would EVER lie about something that serious. For God's sake I was 11 when it started! Fuck you! Second, I am NEVER going back there. This is home and always be. Straighten out? I'm bisexual! That won't change just because I go back with you. I'm so madly in love with her and I NEVER regret choosing her over you. Unfortunately, I gave Sofia the choice to speak to you on her terms. But you stay away from me. I want nothing to do with either of you. My wife doesn't deserve to know what knowing you is like. Goodbye!" She points to the door.

I'm stunned into silence by my wife's speech and the volume she can withhold. Carlos and Lucia don't move a muscle. It's like they don't take her seriously.

"I think she made herself clear. You can leave now." It's the first time I've been able to make a sentence. The snap out of their daze and walk out towards the door.

"We're going to be in town for a few more days. If you change your mind, the offer is always on the table." Carlos informs and leaves with Lucia behind him. I rotate to look at Callie and her back is to me.

"Calliope…" She turns around and takes two large strides and buries her face into the crook of my neck. I wrap my arms around her shoulder and rub my hands up and down her back to try to soothe her. I feel her tears starting to go through my scrubs and lab coat.

"Let's move to our on-call room." I walk us down the hall with her head hung. Everyone seems to notice but don't say anything. I've come to realize these people respect my wife very much. As much as the nurses gossip about everyone they know when to shut up especially when it comes to Callie. They must have heard her screaming at her parents. Rarely do you witness the famous Ortho Robbins losing it on an intern, attending, patients or parents.

I get us into the room and lock the door. She lays down on the narrow bed facing the wall. Her sobs are wracking her whole body. I'm so angry and sad at the same time. How the hell can someone speak to their own daughter the way her parents had?! It's so infuriating. I hurt for the woman I love more than anything. I slide in next to her and spoon her. She grabs at my hand and wraps it tightly around her midsection. I put my arm under her neck to make us both comfortable. When her sobs quiet down, I can't tell if she fell asleep or not.

"Thank you for being great about this. My parents are horrible people and they don't get to talk about you or our kids like that. I hope I didn't freak you out with how loud I got." Callie tries to soothe me when it should be the other way around.

"Hey, look at me." She turns in my arms. "I never realized the set of lungs you got on you." I get a twitch of smile in reward. "It never ceases to amaze me how much you fight for our family. It's a sight to see. But the important thing is, are you okay? This must have opened up some things from your past. We don't have to talk now but still."

"They still haven't learned that I'm not changing any part of my life for them. They don't mean anything." She sounds exhausted and I know she has to work the night shift.

"I know. But you haven't answered my question."

"I'm okay. Does it hurt when they do this? Of course. But you guys mean everything." She sniffles a little. "Sweetie I know you don't have to be here. Why don't you go home?"

"I don't want to leave you like this."

"Arizona, I'm still working. It'll give me something to focus on for a while. Please. Enjoy some time with the kids. It'll give me some peace in mind. I know you'll worry but I'll be fine." She insists.

"Calliope, don't do this. Don't push me away because you think you need to protect me from your pain." I know my wife, she'll bury herself in her work but she won't take care of herself. It's the worst thing about her big heart. She gets hurt so easily and she is constantly putting herself on the back burner especially when she needs saving.

"I'm not shutting you out. I need to pay attention to something else. Feeling everything from my talk with them is only going to hurt me more. I hate that they can still have this effect on me. It's terrible but I'll survive because I know I'll be coming home to you after my 32 hour shift."

"Okay. I'll go home but please eat and catch some sleep when you can. I know you baby. You'll work yourself to death and then come home and do it again with the kids. Promise me." I please.

"I promise. I'll catch some sleep now then get back to work in a bit."

"Good."

"Will you hold me until I fall into a deep sleep?" She asks.

"Absolutely." We reposition our bodies back to me being the big spoon. "I'm so in love with you too. Don't you forget it."

"Never." She whispers back.

Only about five minutes is when I feel the steady deep breathing, to only indicate that she's asleep. I slip myself out and leave her a note when she wakes up. There is heaviness in my chest after I leave the hospital. The drive home is filled with flashbacks of this afternoon. It's so painful to think of how my wife feels. I thank God that my own kids will never feel that way, at least not from me or Calliope.

* * *

I'm at home watching a movie with the girls while the boys are out with Tim. My head keeps drifting to Callie wondering how she's doing but I shouldn't hover. Eventually it'll upset her and we'll fight over nothing. It's not worth it but I can't help it. I felt so useless when she was talking to her parents.

"Mom?" Peyton tries catching my attention.

"Yeah sweetie."

"Is Mama gonna be here to say goodnight?" She asks sweetly.

"No baby she won't. She's working a really long shift."

"When is coming home?"

"Probably not until tomorrow night barring no emergency surgeries."

"Okay…" She says sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"Mama always scares the monsters away before I go to bed and she's not here to do it tonight."

I smile at the way my daughter clearly needs her Mama. "Tell you what. Why don't you tell me how Mama scares them away and I'll do my best until she comes home?"

"That works. Can I start getting ready for bed then? I'm tired."

"Go ahead. I'll be up in a bit."

Sofia is in her own world. I want to ask her if she's been talking to her grandparents but I don't know how to bring it up. Callie did give her the choice but the fact I heard them talk about Sofia and the rest of the kids as if they are a sin bothers me to no end.

"Sof…"

"Yeah Mom?" I draw her attention.

"Do you still keep in touch with your abuelo and abuela?" Hesitating a bit.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"No. I'm curious."

"Did something happen?"

"Yes. They came and spoke to your mother today. It didn't turn out that well."

"Oh… They mentioned they were going to try to talk to her I didn't know that they were going to today."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't see the big deal with it." She shrugs it off.

"We're going to continue this conversation but I'm going to put your sister to bed first." I head up to Peyton's room to find her getting the stuffed animal Callie gave to her. She only hold onto it when Callie isn't home to say goodnight.

"Hey sweet girl. Ready to go to bed?"

"Yeah, I'm wiped out Mom." She say cheekily.

I feel my phone starting to vibrate in my pocket. I reach for it and see that it's Calliope.

"Hi honey. Perfect timing."

"Hey you. And why's that?"

"I'm putting Pey to bed right now."

"Put me on speaker phone for a sec?" I do as I'm told.

"Hi baby girl." Peyton grins as she recognizes Calliope's voice.

"Hi Mama! Are you calling to say good night?"

"Of course I am! I wouldn't miss it for anything. I'm sorry I'm not there to say good night in person. You all tucked in?"

"Yup. Mom got it nice and tight, just how I like it."

"Good. Well good night Pey. I love you so much. Sweet dream. I'll see you tomorrow night when I'm off work, okay?" Callie coos.

"Okay Mama. I miss you. Love you too. Nighty night."

I take the phone off speaker.

"I'm glad you called. I was starting to worry."

"I'm fine babe. Just working. Not as hard as you expected, by the way. Bailey will vouch for me." I hear the smile in her voice.

"I'm happy to hear that. Well have a good night shift. Like I said sleep and eat. Take care of yourself."

"I know I know. I love you baby. Sweet dreams. Hopefully the next day goes by fast so I can see you soon."

"Love you too Calliope. Good night. Call me if you need me."

"I will. See ya later." Then she hangs up the phone. I slip my phone back into my pocket.

"Mom, you have to scare the monsters away before you go." She warns.

"Just tell me how Mama does it and I'll do it."

"Open my closet and tell them that if they come out that you'll be here to fight them off and then do the same under the bed." I walk to her closet, "You monsters in there, don't come out of there ever or else I'll have to kick some butt. Ya hear?" I fake a stern warning. I shift to look under her bed and say something along the same lines. "Was that okay? Can you go to sleep now?"

I hear a yawn. "It'll do for tonight Mom. Thank you. You were pretty close to how Mama does it. Good night. I love you Mom." I kiss her forehead and leave her door cracked then go back downstairs. I sit back in my original place and Sofia hasn't moved an inch.

"I'm not expecting you to drop whatever your relationship with your grandparents is but just be careful. When I saw the way they spoke to your mother today. I didn't like it." I say easily.

"Okay. Thanks I guess." Sofia answers offhandedly. _What is her problem?_

"I've had enough of this passive aggressive stuff Sofia. I have no idea what is going on but I won't put up with the way you have been treating your mother. So tell me." I state sternly. She's been acting so differently after the drinking incident then Callie's confession and now it's seems even worse.

"I don't want to get into it now Mom. Please."

"No. We are getting into this now because any other time you won't say anything." I push.

"It's not your place to say anything. I want answers from Mama and I won't get them from you."

"What are you talking about? Plus throwing this on her right now would just stress her out ever more." It's true. I can't imagine giving my wife another thing to handle right now.

"What about me?!" I give her a stunned look.

"Excuse me?"

"Mama never wanted me or anyone of this!" Sofia shrieks.

"Now I know you know that's not true Sofia! We've talked about this."

"Then why did she write about how she wasn't sure she wanted me in this?" She asks. Sofia removes a small burgundy book from her purse on the floor and throws it on the coffee table in front of me. I've never seen it before.

* * *

AN: Cliff hanger, I know… But there is a good reason for it. It sets up my next chapter perfectly. Seems like Callie can't catch a break.

AN: Anyone who has read We Are Just The Same by capshawfan1981, I took the Ortho Robbins and Peds Robbins from that story. I loved that idea and totally giving credit where it's needed.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: God I love your guys' reviews! Thank you. I couldn't be more grateful. I even love your predictions even more.

AN: I alternate between POV's to help this chapter be clearer. Sorry for the mistakes. I just wanted to post this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 9

Arizona's POV

_Previously_

_"Then why did she write about how she wasn't sure she wanted me in this?" She asks. Sofia removes a small burgundy book from her purse on the floor and throws it on the coffee table in front of me. I've never seen it before._

"What is this?" I stare at the book in front of me.

"Aunt Aria gave it to me. It's Mama's diary before I was born I would guess."

"And you read it? That's breaking into someone's privacy." I chastise.

"So what? I got some insight into all this. And I g-guess she never wanted me or any of us kids. You would believe me if you read it. I marked some pages."

"I'm not reading that. Whatever she wrote is from the past. She has never given me or any of you kids a reason to think she regrets this family." I state.

"Just read it then we can talk. I'm going to bed. Good night Mom." Sofia stands and leaves me with the book. It's taunting me. I shouldn't read it. _Just do it._ It's not going to kill you. 'But what if it does?' A crippling thought crosses my head. I pick up the book and it feels like a lot heavier than it should. I finger in a place in the book and recognize my wife's scrawl across the pages.

_ Another night waking up to a nightmare, thank God I didn't wake Arizona up. This isn't her problem and it hasn't been mine in a long time. It's not her fault that all this stuff from my past is creeping up on me. I hate that it brings up stupid insecurities that don't mean anything. _

_I'm good enough for her._

_I'm good enough for our daughter._

_I'm good enough for my patients._

_I'm good enough for me._

_I'm good enough._

_Oh God, I'm not. He was right. I'm far from enough for them. I know it's hard to love me. Our daughter shouldn't have me as a mom. I shouldn't be doing this. My daughter and wife deserve that best and I'm not. I'm so fucked up in the head and I didn't even know it. Wait, NO. He doesn't get to do this to me. I get to be happy. I get to have the family I've dreamed of. I need some sleep. It's late and clearly my dream is fucking with me head. I can't think like that._

I want to throw up. How could she think she's not enough? I turn to the first page Sofia marked.

_How do I bring a child into the world not knowing if I can do this? It's not fair. I dreamed of this and now I'm not sure. She's perfect and healthy. What else could I ask for? But I don't know. What I screw this up and I can't fix it? I want her. Arizona gave me everything and this is for us both. I can't back out now. I'm so stupid. What the hell is wrong with me? _

I can't read anymore. I need to sleep. Each step feels heavier and heavier. The thought of my wife not wanting this life is throwing me for a loop. I crawl into my empty bed on Callie's side of the bed. _She's great with the kids. _My thoughts are moving at miles a minute. I toss and turn all night until I fall asleep from fatigue.

* * *

Sunshine from between the curtain shine into my eyes. I try to fight off consciousness but I can't. The scent of my wife over takes my sense, her Pantene shampoo and conditioner, winter candy apple lip gloss, paris amour perfume she love to wear, and something purely my Calliope. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling for reality to crash onto me. In my peripheral vision I see the book that shattered me last night.

My wife has never wanted this life with me. For fuck's sake, we're married! Shouldn't I have picked up on this if she was pregnant with Sofia at the time? _Woah, slow down._ I don't really know what to think. I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

I hear the front door open. I wonder who that could be. Then creaking in the floor boards indicate coming to the bedroom. Not moving an inch in bed, the door is opening.

"Hey beautiful." The silky voice makes my head to turn to see my wife closing the door behind her with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. I stare longer than necessary.

"What are you doing home already?" I wince at my words.

"Uhm, do you want me to go back to work?" She moves toward the door.

"No. no. Come here." Callie places the flowers on her nightstand, kicks off her shoes and crawls under the cover then snuggles into my side. Her body goes ridged and I stare down at her. Suddenly she removes herself from my embrace.

"Where did you get that?" She asks while pointing at the book on my nightstand.

"Uhm…"

"Arizona. Where did you get that?"

"Sofia showed it to me last night."

"What?!"

"She said that Aria gave it to her." Her eyes widen at this revelation. _Uh oh._

"I'll be back." She grabs her phone out of her pocket and I only assume she is going to call her sister. This can't be good. I head downstairs to get a cup a coffee. Mornings like this I couldn't love our automatic timed coffee maker even more. Callie's voice rips through the room from our office. I might have just started a fight between sisters. I plop myself down on the chair by the window and watch as the snow falls slowly to the ground. The snow doesn't look so bad in the morning. It's beautiful really.

* * *

Callie's POV

All I wanted to do this morning is surprise my wife that I got to come home earlier than I expecting and give her some flowers only to come home to more drama. First my parents unwelcome visit to find that my daughter gave Arizona a journal that wasn't supposed to be read by anyone. I went through a hard time right before I had Sofia. My old nightmares from when I was teenager came at me with a vengeance. At the time everything my father and mother told me started to eat at me.

I didn't want Arizona to worry about this. It was never her problem only mine. I had buried all that stupid shit the minute I met her. But now it's coming to bite me in the ass.

"Hello?" Aria answers groggily.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell into the phone.

"Ow! What the fuck are you talking about Callie?"

"You want to explain to me why you gave my daughter a journal only you knew about?"

"Oh. Uhm…"

"That's it?!"

"Can we talk about this later?" Aria begs.

"NO!" I shout.

"Fine! You want to know the truth?"

"Of course."

"I can't believe our parents still care! You don't get to have your family and our parents too. I've had to live under your shadow and I want your kids to know that you are the perfect woman everyone thinks you are. I love my nieces and nephew but you aren't perfect! You aren't good enough for any of them."

I gape at my sister's response. She always thought she had to fill my shoes. I have never pressured her. If anything I told her that she needed to do what made her happy not what our parents expected. But I do know our parents and they can be horrible.

"Wha-what? You don't mean any of that. You wouldn't give Sofia that book to spite me. You wouldn't hurt me like that." I plead.

"That's where you're wrong big sister. I have been waiting when the time was right." She jeers.

"So all those time where you were supportive like when it came to me coming out, my wedding, all the birth of my kids, that was all fake?" I start pacing the length of our office.

"No. I love those kids like they're my own but Mom and Dad finally have gotten off my back and you aren't the golden child anymore." Snides at me.

_You have to fucking joking with me._

"We're done. Goodbye Aria." I bellow and hang up the phone.

* * *

Arizona's POV

I need to face Callie head on about this. Nearing the office door, I hesitate to open the door. I'm scared of what I'm facing.

"We're done. Goodbye Aria." Calliope screams.

_What happened?_ I walk through the door and Callie is blatantly looking at her phone.

I hedge around the desk to face her and she snaps her head up at me. A glaze of tears are covering her eyes.

"Calliope, who were you on the phone with?"

"Aria." No emotion in her voice.

"Oh. What happened?"

She brushes right past me. I follow her out and into our bedroom. She goes to my side of the bed and takes the book into her hands. She's clutching it so hard that her knuckles are turning a bright white. I attempt to grab at her elbow.

"Don't." She rips her elbow from my grasp and marches out. I don't have a choice but take her lead. She burst through Sofia's door. We are met by the widened eyes of our daughter as she is reading in bed.

"Uhm…hi."

"Sofia. I'm only going to ask once so you better tell me the truth. Why do you have this?" She hold up book.

"Aunt Aria gave it to me. She said there was something in the book I would like to read. I just didn't know that I was reading that my own mother didn't want me." She giving my wife what I call the 'Torres' glare, well I guess 'Robbins' glare now, but her version of it.

"You two." Looking at me and Sofia. "Meet me in the office, now." Without a second thought she heads back into the office. Sofia shrugs at me while she gets out of bed and I trail her. We enter the office awkwardly and sit down on the couch. Calliope is pouring herself a drink.

"Isn't kind of early for that Mama?" Sofia says with sarcasm lacing her voice.

"Not for this." Callie turns to face us. She looks nervous.

"That journal wasn't meant to be read by anyone but me."

"So how did Aunt Aria know about it?" Sofia asks.

"Because I told her about it. I needed to tell someone what was going on at the time." I'm lost at this information.

"When? And what are you talking about?" I ask. "Did you not want this life? Our kids? I read a couple entries myself. Do you blame Sof and I for being unsure now?"

"Wait. Both of you read it?!" She looks at us with disbelief. We nod yes at her. Callie's eyes harden.

"Absolutely not! How can you even ask me that?! I know what I wrote in that book says otherwise but I know I haven't given anyone a reason to think otherwise. That was a long time ago!"

"Well you said 'I shouldn't do this' and 'I can't back out now'." I tilt my head at her. I'm terrified of what her reply will be but I have to know.

She draws in a deep breath. She drags over one of the seats in front of the desk and sit on it. "I used to have almost the same reoccurring dream when I was a teenager. It really started to mess with my head about everything. I didn't want to bother you because it wasn't your fault. So I went to a couple therapy sessions during my last month pregnant with Sofia. Dr. Wyatt told me to write down all my thoughts on paper to express them and get them out of my head. It worked. Eventually my dreams stopped and the words I kept hearing stopped playing out. Growing up the way I did never gave me a secure feeling in my life." I open and close my mouth several times trying to come up with some words but I can't.

"That's why you were so 'off' during that last month?" I finally ask after a few minutes. She nods. "And the therapy sessions are what you did with Aria twice a week?" Making a connection from back then.

"Yeah." She turns toward Sofia. "I have dreamt of you Sofia for as long as I can remember. I have always wanted you Sof. I had a couple weeks where your abuelo's words starting to eat away at me. It made me question if I was going to be a 'fit' mother for you. So I wrote every horrible feeling I had. You were never supposed to be read by anyone especially by either of you."

She drops her face into her hands and cries. I stand up and kneel in front of my wife. Pulling away her hands from her face I'm met by watery chocolate eyes.

"Baby, why did Aria give Sofa that book if she knew?" I ask lightly.

"It's her sick way of getting revenge at me. She always hated how my parents put her under my shadow. It was never intentional but it happened. I never wanted that for her and I always told her to do what made her happy. She said that I'm not the golden child anymore and happy that my parents finally get that." She chokes out.

"Oh God. Please tell me that not what she said while you were on the phone with her?" She shakes her head up and down. _I'm calling her later. This is unreal._ I feel Sofia tap at my shoulder. I look over my shoulder to see my daughter silently crying and begging her in eyes. I understand and move away from Calliope. She drops down to replace me and pulls Callie's arms down to her sides. My wife doesn't look up but Sofia shoves her way into her Mama's body to fully hold her. Calliope cloaks her arms around Sofia's body and sobs.

"Mama, I'm so sorry for how I have been acting. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know." Sofia begs.

"It's okay Sof. It's okay." Callie soothes.

"But it's not! I've been a major bitch for weeks because I thought I knew! How can you forgive me so easily?" She implores.

Calliope pulls back from their hold on each other to look Sofia in the eyes. "You want to know why?" Sofia nods. "Unlike my mom and dad Sof, I'll bend for you. I'll bend as far as you need me to because simply you are my daughter. That's how I can forgive you." Tears are streaming my face as I watch this unfold. I stand from my spot and hold my girls in my arms on the floor. We have put my wife to relive so much pain lately. After we are down to just sniffles we pick ourselves off the floor. Sofia leaves the room so it's just me and my wife.

"Arizona, I never wanted you find out this way. Please believe when I say that, that whole thing was me. There was never you did to make me not want Sofia or the rest of our children."

"I know baby. I know. You did what you had to do. Do I wish that you would have said something to me? Of course I did. Does it slightly hurt now? Yes. But just like you told Sofia, you need me to bend for you right now and not be pissed off. And fortunately for you, I'm bending you for because I love you and you're my wife." I state with conviction in my voice.

"Come on, let's get off this damn floor. I'm over this crying today." I stand and extend my hand to Calliope.

* * *

We go about our day as if this morning had never happened. It's not like we are avoiding it but so much has come to light lately that we feel some relief. As a family, the day was spent together and tonight separately. The kids are all at friends' houses as their winter break is starting to wind down.

I'm leaning on the door way watching my wife reading a medical journal. Her beauty still takes my breath away. Not a day goes by that it doesn't hit me at least once a day. _Gorgeous._ I must have said that out loud because that second Calliope's eyes connect with mine.

"Come here." She whispers while ridding herself of the journal onto the nightstand.

I crawl from the foot of the bed to straddle her waist. She places her hands on my hips and I dip my head down to catch the full lips I love so much in a sweet and loving kiss.

"I love you so much Calliope."

"I love you Arizona." Those four words still make my heart clench.

I return my lips onto hers and suck at her bottom lip. I know this drives her wild. She moans into my mouth and flips us over so I'm on my back. Our mouths are in a battle of the tongues as our bodies meld together. My hands glide into her raven silk hair and one of hers slip under my shirt and scratches lightly at my side. I find strength and fling her back onto her back. I pull back from our kiss to stare at the sight below me.

"You are so beautiful." I gush.

"Arizona…"

"Yeah?"

"Make love to me, Arizona. I need you to make love to me right now." I don't have the time to respond to her request when Callie crushes her lips with mine. Her hands yank at my top and over my head. She unclasps my bra. I push my jeans and panties over my hips. Callie rips them off of me. I tear her shirt and bra off at the same time. I sit back on my heels to shed the remaining barriers. I lay my body on top of hers and groan at the initial skin on skin contact. This is about her.

I set a line of open mouthed kisses along her jawline and down and around her neck to the other side up to her earlobe. I tug a bit and soothe it with my tongue.

"I can't wait to taste you baby." I husk. The shudder of her body tells me she's more than ready for me.

I kiss down her neck and across her collarbone. Sliding down her body some more I suck in a pert dark chocolate nipple into my mouth. My narrow the tip of my tongue and swirl her areola and flick at the tip. A moan rips through Callie's chest and her fingers weave through my hair. She presses my face into her breast. I shift to the other breast to give it equal attention. I've always been a boob girl but my wife makes me a butt girl, a leg girl, anything my wife has I'm down for it.

I nip along her soft stomach and dip my tongue in her navel. I scratch my nails at her sides and travel up to her full breast. After giving a hard squeeze, I sit back on my heels again. Staring down at the body laid out before me, Calliope's chest is rising and falling, her eyes are closes and lips slightly parted.

Picking up her leg, starting from the inside of her ankle I kiss up her leg. I stay around the back of her knee, knowing it's her weak spot then bite at the inside of her thigh. I repeat the same process up her other leg. I eventually settle on my stomach so my face is directly in front of my wife's sex. I growl at the site before my eyes. Her lips are glistening what turns me on even more is the new waxing my wife has apparently gotten. A perfect thin strip of black hair in the center and sits upon her mound.

I take my thumbs are spread her lip and her clit is already engorged. I lean my head forward and lick from her entrance up with a flat tongue.

"Oh God Arizona." I moan at the way she says my name.

Callie's hands remain in my hair but tugging to place me where she needs me most. I keep licking with a flat tongue and then harden me tongue to gather a little more wetness to my wife's clit. No that she really needs it. My girls dripping wet for me. I hook my arm around her left thigh and my fore finger and thumb spread her lips apart again. I unravel her right hand in my hair and entwine our fingers. This is about connection and showing her how in love I am with her.

"Please baby. Make me come. It won't take long."

"I love it when you beg."

"Arizona, please. I know you know that I'm soaking wet for you. I need a release. Give it to me."

I can't say no to that. I drive my stiff tongue into her entrance. I moan at the taste that overtaking my senses. I pump my face into her pussy as hard as I can. Her moans are increasing in volume.

"You are the best I've ever had." She knows what that does it me.

I hook my tongue into her and flick roughly at the spot only I know about. Her thighs are started to tremble but she spreads her legs out even more of me. She's so sexy when she does that. I bring my right hand to her entrance. I move my lips to circle around her clit and suck hard.

"OH GOD!" She shouts. Her breathing is shallow now.

I plunge two fingers into my wife as her back arches off the bed. I pump in and out of her while I flick my tongue against the tip of her clit at a rapid succession.

"Ari- Ari… I'm- Oh God I'm com- coming!" I moan. The vibrations send the last shock of pleasure before her thighs clamp my head shut and her body jolts as her orgasm takes over.

"Oh my god!" The pleasure still taking over her body. I don't relent on my ministrations but I feel her walls pulling my fingers even deeper. I hook up fingers and rub her g-spot.

"Come for me again Calliope." I keep pushing into her.

"I know you can do it babe. Let go."

"I can't- OH MY GOD!"

Her second orgasm rips through her. She squeezes my hand. "That's my girl."

I lick up her sweet nectar as I pull my fingers out of their safe haven. Her body goes limp and her other hand slides of my hair and her thigh fall apart onto the bed. I clean her up.

"Arizona, stop. Baby. I can't take anymore." She pushes through while trying to catch her breath. I crawl up the length of her body. She's still slicked with sweat. I push a lock of her hair from her eyes and kiss her softly. Calliope pokes her tongue between my lip to deepen the kiss and she growls into my mouth as she tastes herself on me.

"You coming back to me?" Her eyes flutter open.

"Always." She whisper. She always looks so pretty in her post-orgasmic haze. I slide off of her and onto my back. Calliope rolls into my side and throws an arm over my stomach and wedges her leg in between mine. She puts her head in my neck and kisses there a few times.

"Give me a few minutes to get the feeling in my legs back and I can return the favor." She laughs.

It's music to my ears. " Take your time. This was about you. I can wait."

"I swear every time I think I couldn't fall more in love with you, I'm wrong. I'm still falling." Her words make my stomach flip.

"I know the feeling Calliope. I love you too." I breathe out.

She shifts her body so she's on top of me. Her lips are hovering over my skin and kissing her way down my body. I writhe at the sensation. She takes my hands in hers while settling in between my legs.

"This is me saying thank you for being the love of my life sweetie. Enjoy the ride." She winks at me and sets her talented to tongue to work while I gasp in pleasure. _No thank you Calliope._

* * *

AN: Thoughts?

AN: I probably won't be able to update until the weekend but the good news is that I'm going to be on spring break after this week is over so I'll be able to write more! So much more to unravel!


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I'm working hard to crank out chapters this week since I have time to write. :) I love you all for reading.

* * *

Chapter 10

Arizona's POV

The kids have been back at school for a couple weeks now from their break and we are back in full swing of things. With five kids, schedules are hard to coordinate but we get on pretty well. Thanks to me and my Type A personality. It always helps that my wife does everything I ask of her so everything is always in line. I've trained my girl well. Speaking of her, I hear her infectious laugh ring through my peds ward. Our eyes connect across the way while she's walking towards me and winks.

Stopping in front of me, "Hey Dr. Robbins."

"Hey yourself, Dr. Robbins." She slips a coffee into my hand. "What are you doing up here?"

"I wanted to see my stunning wife." Looking up and down the hall, "Have you seen her?"

I throw a swift punch to her bicep. Calliope chuckles, "Haha, very funny babe."

"So how's your day going?"

"It's been good and it just got better with your little impromptu visit but it's about to get better." I smile cheekily.

"Yeah? How so?"

"Do you remember what today is?" Narrowing my eyes at her as if it'll help her remember.

"Oh my gosh! Johnny gets to leave today!" Her face lights up.

"Yes! I'm heading to in there right now. Want to come say goodbye with me?"

She nods. We walk toward Room 4117 to see all of Johnny's belongings packed up and he perched up on the bed for the last time.

"Hey kiddo."

"Hi Dr. Robbins! And you brought Ortho Robbins with you!"

"That's right. So today's the big day, huh?"

"That's right! Come say goodbye to your best patient ever?" He smirks.

I giggle, "Yes, I am actually."

"Well bye!" He laughs. "Ortho Robbins, I ate one of your cupcakes for the bake off. They were so cool."

"Thanks for helping the other team beat me." Calliope pouts.

"Hey! I was just agreeing that you're a super hero." He throws back.

She blushes quite a bit but I ignore it. _Doesn't she see that she's great?_ "First you pick my opponents dessert for the bake off then you leave me to hang out with no one at the hospital." She gives him, her megawatt smile to show that she's joking.

"If you want, I'll still come visit you. You're my favorite doctor around here!"

"Hey!" I interject. They both laugh at me.

"Dr. Robbins you know I like you too but Ortho Robbins is the only one who can beat me in battleship which makes her awesome!"

"She is pretty awesome so I'll let that go." I turn towards Macy. "Here are his discharge papers. You still have to bring him in regularly for next couple of months so we can monitor that he stays in remission. Besides staying healthy he can live like a normal 10 year old now." She throws her arms around me and catches me off guard. My wife chuckles behind me.

"Thank you for everything Dr. Robbins. I'm so grateful for saving his life." She's trying to keep herself from crying but these are definitely happy tears. "No need to thank me. Kids like him are the reasons why I love my job."

I look at Johnny who is joking around with Callie. "Okay Johnny, you know I love you being here to keep me and Ortho Robbins here company but-"

"You love when we leave here. I know." He flashes me a huge smile which tells me he's more than ready to get out of here too. I give him a tight hug. "You take care of yourself and if you start to not feel good again, tell your mom and come see me. Deal?"

"Deal!" We shake on it.

Calliope walks up next to his bed, "This is it. I'm happy you get out of here buddy. Be happy, kay?" He shakes his head up and down. She reaches into her lab coat and brings out silver bracelet I've never seen before.

"Here." Placing it into his hand.

"What is it?"

"You say I'm the super hero bud but let's face facts, you are. You know how the Green Lantern has his ring and Captain America has his shield and Iron Man has his suit?" He nods.

"It's their signature thing!"

"Well this bracelet can be your signature thing because you're a hero just like them. You're just as strong if not stronger then all those super heroes combined! So this is a reminder of that."

As I watch this play out, my eyes start to get hazy from tears coming forward. My wife has always been amazing with kids. She was meant to be a mother and a doctor. I shake my head to clear my head.

"Get on out of here." Calliope and Johnny have always had this special handshake. Macy rounds his bed and wraps her in a tight hug as well.

"Thank you." She whispers. Callie nods and grins at her.

"Thank you for this Ortho Robbins. Can you put it on?" Callie takes the bracelet and clips it on.

"If you need anything, just call me. We have to get back to work but I'll miss you guys!"

"Bye!" Macy and Johnny say in unison.

We head out of his room together. Not much has to be said right now. It's sad to see one of my beloved kids leave but at least I know they are leaving the hospital and not this earth. I smile at the thought of saving a tiny human then I remember something.

"Hey baby, me and the kids are going to visit my parents today. It'll just be you and Sof later." She tilts her head to the side in confusion.

"What? That wasn't on your schedule."

"Yes, it is. I forgot to put it on the board." Callie points her eyes at me, not entirely believing me.

"Okay…" Her pager goes off. "Ugh, I have to go. I'll see you when you get back." She kisses my lips swiftly and starts to backpedal. "Love you!" I watch as my wife turns and starts running down the hall. _Man, my girls got a hot ass._ I pull my cell phone out of my pocket to text Sofia.

**Hook, line, and sinker. Let's get this moving.**

**You could've just said that you started our plan Mom. lol. **

**I know but why not have some fun with this? :) **

**Well don't forget to pick up the pictures before you leave with everyone to Grandma's and Papa's. **

**I won't. Anything else?**

**Nope, we have everything. Oh, and you have to tell me when you're coming back to the house.**

**Okay. Got it. This is gonna work Sof. Don't worry. I gotta get back to work kid. Love you.**

**I think it will too. I hope she likes it. Love you too Mom. 3**

Hopefully all this planning doesn't go to waste but Calliope deserves this.

* * *

_Flashback_

_I'm sitting in the family office on my laptop browsing different articles for various surgeries I have this week. Being caught up in work, I don't realize Sofia coming home. She knocks on the door and sneaks in._

_"Hey Mom." She greets._

_"Hi honey. How was school and practice?" Switching from her high school team to her travel team for volleyball is a little rough but she works it out. She gets her anal retentiveness from me._

_"It was a regular day. Practice was a little brutal but good. I was announced captain again today and I'm the starting libero!" She squeals._

_"That's awesome Sof. Congratulations!" I smile at her._

_"Uhm, Mom. Do you think you could help me out with something?" She asks tentatively._

_"Sure. What is it?"_

_"Remember how you said I had to make up to Mama because of what I said that night I came home late?" I signal to her that I remember._

_"Could you help me put together a 'surprise' for her? I know what I want to do but I kind of need your help with some of it because you know her best."_

_"Sof, you know her just as well. I think you seem to forget that you are your mother's daughters." _

_"I know. A part of my surprise includes you."_

_"Oh okay. So what do you have in mind?" I ask._

_"I figure Mama is always doing everything for all of us. When we go out to watch a movie or eat dinner it's always our choice. I want her to have the day where it's all her favorite things. Plus a lot of the time you and her give up your date nights when we need either one of you or anyone at the hospital. At the end of the night, I thought you two could have the night together without any of us."_

_"That's very thoughtful Sof. I would love to help. But you guys know that we don't mind. We're your mom's it's our job to put you first." She shakes her back and forth._

_"No, we know that Mom. We notice what you sacrifice and with everything Mama has told us, I think she's convinced that no one sees what she does for me and everyone." I agree with that statement. My wife is confident and sexy but when it comes to taking a compliment she's the worst._

_"Okay, I just wanted to make that clear. But yeah, let's plan this. She's going to love it." A smirk breaks out on my face at the thought if we can plan this perfectly._

_"So I was thinking…" Sofia starts with a notebook and pen ready._

_End of Flashback_

* * *

Callie's POV

I come home to pretty empty house. As I was told on Sofia would be home. I change and shower to wash away the nastiness of my day. I find myself in my favorite worn out jeans and Arizona's Duke University hoodie. It snugs at my curves perfectly leaving an inch of skin showing around my hips and lower back just like my wife adores. I enter the living room with my daughter stretched out on the long couch watch one of her shows.

"Hey baby girl."

"Hi Mama." We're getting along better these days. _Thank God._ It's a working progress with all the things she said it still makes me a bit insecure with my role as her mother.

"So it's just you and me, huh?"

"Yeah. But don't get too comfortable we have some stuff to do."

"We do?" I ask dumbfoundedly.

"I planned an afternoon together and surprise for tonight for you."

"Sof, you didn't hav-" She puts her hand up to stop me.

"No offense Mama, I do. I know I haven't been the easiest person to live with and everything I've said... I wish I could take it back but I can't but I still hurt you. Please let me do this." I nod in understanding.

"What are we doing then?"

"Right now, we are just gonna veg out on the couch for a little while and watch some old videos. If you look behind your chair there is a bag for you." I sit in my preferred recliner and twist my body to find a red bag with a ribbon to keep the bag closed. I lift it from its place and put it in my lap.

She gives me a small nod. I untie the ribbon to find some of my favorite things and all of my guilty pleasures in there. I snap my head to her.

"Wha-what is this? How did you know?"

"I had some help and that's just the start."

A medical journal, my favorite candy bars, a coupon to get a pedicure, a letter addressed from her and a new phone case I was eyeing the last time I went to the mall. My heart constricts at the gesture. It probably the nicest thing anyone's done for me in a while.

"I know you're a sucker for all those things and I ordered us pizza earlier. You're favorite; supreme pizza." She reaches for the remote and presses play. A fuzzy video feed comes onto the screen and I hear 'Nice dig Cal!' and it sounds like my best friend's voice. When it becomes clear, I gasp at the image. It's one of my old volleyball films. My couch taped every game and she made me a copy. At that time in my life I buried myself in school, organizations and sports. All the hard work paid off when I got a full ride scholarship to play volleyball and softball.

"Where did you find these?" I ask in shock.

"I went through a few boxes in the attic when I was look for some of my stuff for a presentation in school and I found a bunch of these. I thought I could bring them down and we could watch them so you could give me some tips because with AAU starting and I have a couple recruiters from all over the country lined up to watch me play. Plus I want to see you play." She brings out her dimples that match her Mom.

I chuckle. "Of course. You have no idea how proud of you we are for everything that you've achieved so far. You are so playing college ball especially if I have something to do with it!" I'm excited for her and I can't contain it anymore. I miss playing the game more than anything. It's funny because I was the libero too when I played. We could have easily played the all-around position but we chose to be the heart of the team.

"So tell me about this game."

"This game was against our rivals, Lutheran North. It was a religious school that always thought they were better than everyone."

"Ugh, that's gross."

"I know! Anyways, we won to go to the conference finals after this game. It was one of my best games that year."

Sofia gets up and grabs the box of pizza, a few napkins, and two bottles of water.

A few hours later I'm stuffed with my favorite pizza and we finished watching a few matches. I pause and rewind certain parts of the game as we go to show her how I do certain moves that improved my game.

"So what's next on your agenda?"

"I-uh-have something for you." She says cautiously. I cock my head to side slightly. My daughter walks out of the room and comes back with a rather large box that's wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper.

"It was the wrapping paper we had." I let out a breathy laugh. "I know you're more of a sentimental person than caring for the face value of things. I hope you like it Mama." She sets it my lap. I rip the paper and open the box and see a huge picture frame. The center is a picture of Arizona and I on our wedding. It was a candid shot of us in a brief kiss on the dance floor. I have this picture in my office on my desk. Along the edges of the picture of us are individual pictures of me and each one of our kids. The one of me and Sofia, she is me sitting on my lap while we're in the recliner with the sun streaming in just smiling at each other. It's a flawless picture and in black and white. The one next to it is Grey and I walking down the beach, during one of our vacations, holding hands but the picture was taken from behind. He must have been like 5. After that, Hayden was sitting on my shoulders and spinning around. It was after he had scored his first goal in soccer. Then the picture next to that one is Adam snuggling into my chest while I'm sitting in the grass at what I'm assuming was the park. Then the last picture is me holding Peyton in my arms while rocking her in the rocking chair. At the very top of the frame has a gold plate across it with an inscription engraved, "You are the heart, strength, and protector of our family. Thank you for everything you do and everything you keep doing for us, it doesn't go unnoticed. We love you Mama. Love always, Sofia, Grey, Hayden, Adam, Peyton and Mom."

"Thank you." I whisper, trying to keep my resolve from crumbling. "I love it Sof. This is remarkable. How di-did you get all these photos to put in here?"

"Mom developed them for me when we finally picked out our favorites."

"Our?"

"Each one of us picked our favorite picture with you then Mom had them sent to be printed and I only had to place them in the frame."

"And the inscription?"

"It took us forever to agree on what to put but we meant it Mama."

"I know baby. Thank you for this. All of it." I stand up and envelop her in a tight hug. My eldest daughter has such a gigantic heart. Even after everything has been said and done she still trying to make it up to me. I couldn't love her more than I thought I already did, but I was wrong. I can.

"You're welcome Mama." Sofia shines her smile at me.

* * *

AN: Next chapter. Pure sexy time. Part two of the surprise.

AN: Leave your thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Here is part 2 of Callie's surprise.

Chapter 11

Arizona's POV

Sitting on a kitchen stool watching my mother get dessert ready for the kids just takes me back when she would do the same for the neighborhood kids when I was younger. I can't stop fidgeting in my seat and I keep checking my phone for Sofia to text me when to be home.

"Sweetie, stop checking your phone. Sofia will let you know when you can get home to your girl." She flashes her dimples my way.

"I know. I really want Calliope to love what we put together."

"She will. Why don't you start getting ready? You brought everything."

I think about that. I could get ready here and get straight to my date with my wife when I get back. "Yeah, I think I'll do that. Mind if I take up the bathroom for a while?"

"Go ahead honey. I'll take care of the kids."

I head to the guest bathroom to shower. Tonight should be a memorable night. I haven't heard from Sof all night so it should be going well. The picture frame is more than likely to put Callie to tears. She's always been the sentimental person and she takes them to heart. When Sofia told me that was one of her surprises I knew my wife would love it. There isn't a piece of art work or school work that Callie doesn't keep. She has quite of few of them framed and hung in her gigantic office at the hospital. So do I.

I turn the water on to an almost unbearable temperature to soothe my muscle and take away the griminess of the day. Don't get me wrong, I adore running around and playing with my kids but they are a mess. I don't understand how Callie can do it all day and still manage to stay awake to make dinner and the rest of our house chores. But seeing her be a mother is the greatest gift life has to offer me except knowing that fact she is forever mine.

When a certain calm washes over me that's when I know I've had enough. I get out and start to get ready for my date. I've chosen a jade colored dress that leaves my back bare but straps over my shoulders and leave a neckline that plunges passed an appropriate point on my abdomen. It hugs my hips and flows to my knees. I brought a pair of my black 'fuck me' that leaves my wife gaping for hours if I let her.

A part of our plan is for Sofia to help Callie get ready for our date and set it up for me. I gave her clear cut instructions on how everything is supposed to be done. The dinner is already ordered and in the stove. If she follows my directions, which I know she will, then it's going to be perfect. I step in front of the mirror to put my make up on. A subtle black eye liner and a little smoky eye shadow to compliment my blue eyes and some mascara then a little blush and concealer and I'm done. I let my curls naturally fall over my shoulders but pull half up into a hair tie. It's simple but that's how Callie loves it. My phone rings and I run out of the bathroom to fetch my phone.

**Hey Mom, Mama's ready so you can come home now. All of it set up how you wanted. **

**Okay, thanks baby. I just finished getting ready so I'm leaving here in a couple minutes. How does she look?**

**I can't tell you that! But let me tell you, she looks hot. ;)**

**Sof! But I believe you. :) See you soon.**

I grab my purse and head to say bye to the kids for the night. They know what the deal is about our plan. They were happy to be here tonight and spend time with their grandparents. I enter the back room.

"Okay guys, I'm heading back home for tonight. If you need anything, call me but I doubt you will." They all nod their heads at me even though I know they are so caught up in their movies. I reach the door.

"Have a good night baby girl." I turn to see my dad leaning against the wall with a drink.

"Thank you daddy. I will." I throw him a large smile his way.

"Callie is one lucky woman and I'm not just saying that because you're my daughter."

I chortle, "No dad, I'm the lucky one. But thank you and not just for the compliment either, also for how you accepted me wholeheartedly." I envelope him in a hug. He wraps his arms around me.

"I don't know what that means but you're welcome baby. I love you."

"I love you too dad." I leave and get in the range rover and head home. The prospect of what could happen tonight is making me antsy. With our crazy surgical schedule and our kids schedules it can make it difficult for us to have some alone time. We love our kids but sometimes it needs to be just us to keep our sanity every once in a while. I pull up into our drive way. Taking a deep breath I exit the car and head inside. The smells wafting my nose is delicious. I knew it was a good idea to order from our favorite Mediterranean restaurant.

"Sofia!"

"Hey Mom! Hold on." She bounds down the stairs with her coat on and keys in her hand. "She's ready and waiting for my cue to tell her to come down. The back yard is set and dinner and the dessert is in the oven."

"Alright. Let me close off this plan. How was your time with her?"

"We had a good time. There's no doubt in my mind now that I won't get recruited. Mama gave me some awesome tips and we plan to find an open gym to practice sometime soon." She rambles on about their afternoon together. "By the way, she loved the picture frame. Thank you for helping me with this. Have a good date Mom." She kisses my cheek but stops in the doorway.

"Mama you can come down now! Bye!" She yells before closing the door. I hear our bedroom door open and heels click down the hall. My heart rate increased at the thought of seeing my wife. I hear her clear her throat from the top of the stair case and my jaw drops at the site in front of me. Calliope is in a strapless coral dress that is floor-length but has a slit that go up her left leg and stops at her hip. The color accentuates her tan complexion and fits snug in all the right places. Her chest is spilling over the top but not in an uncomfortable way. Her toned leg swiftly comes into view that shows off her strappy silver heels that give her an extra umph in her legs as she comes down the stairs. When she walks I can see her stomach muscle contract. Her hips sway a little more than usually from the heels.

"Honey you might want to close your mouth before something flies in there." She plays.

"I-uh-you look breathtakingly stunning baby." I see her turning red starting from her chest and creeps up her neck to her cheeks. I love that I can still do that to her.

"You are outstandingly gorgeous Arizona." She breathes out.

"Thank you." I grin widely.

"So what is all this? Not that I'm complaining to see my hot wife all dressed up for me but what's the occasion?"

"Shhh. There isn't an occasion." I smirk. "Now come on, we have a date." I hold my arm out for her to take which she does. I lead her towards our double back doors. Stopping before I open the doors I say, "Close your eyes babe."

"Uhm kay…" I open the doors and pull her through to our back porch. It looks absolutely beautiful and exactly how I envisioned this. _Good work Sof._

"Okay, you can open em now." Her eyes flutters open and a gasp falls from her plump lips. She's taking in the white lanterns hung around the porch with a table in the center. It's covered by a white table cloth and our dinner sitting atop it. A vase of my wife's favorite flowers act as the center piece, orchids, with our favorite kind of wine next to it. Red candles sit upon haphazardly around us to give Calliope an elegant glow.

"Oh my god. Sweetheart this is beautiful. How did you-?"

"Sofia set it up while you were getting ready earlier. She did good with your surprise." I pull her chair out for her and indicate for her to sit then I sit across from her.

"So you two have been planning today behind my back?"

"Yes. We all wanted to go something for you sweetie." She gives me her gorgeous smile that outshines all the candles and lanterns. I would do anything to keep her like this.

"Thank you for doing all this. I don't deserve it." I sit there shocked at her words.

"What?"

"Calliope Robbins! What in the world makes you say that?! You are the perfect mother to our beautiful kids and even a more perfect wife every day. You don't think you deserve this? I think everyone would disagree with you. Just take this as our way of showing our appreciation and take it in baby." That might have been a little much but she needs to hear me when I tell her how great she is.

"I love you."

"I love you too babe. Now, I'm starving. Let's dig in." I pull up our covers to our meals. I practically salivate at the food on my plate. A perfect combination of rice, lamb kabob, grilled chicken and Greek salad. I pour us both a glass of wine to go with our food.

"I don't remember the last time we had Mediterranean." She moans at the tastes. "Thank you honey."

"You're welcome sweetheart." I grab for her hand across the table. We eat dinner like that for the rest of the night. We have our usually conversations but I wouldn't change that. No topic is off limits but Calliope keeps giving me a smoldering look. I have to keep crossing and uncrossing my legs to try to satisfy the throbbing between my legs. Walking towards that outdoor radio, I turn our song on and smile at her.

"Will you have this dance with me Calliope?" My hand is out for her to grasp. She places her hand in mine and stands up. We walk over to our make shift dance floor. I rest my hand at her hip and can't help to give it a good squeeze while she places hers on mine. She brings our entwined fingers up to her chest and I lay my head down her shoulder. We sway our bodies together in time with the music. I always loved it when we slow danced. It was purely me and her.

"I dreamed of you for a long time, ya know?"

I pick my head off her shoulder to look up at her. She stares down at me and her eyes are a light brown right now which tells me she's really happy in this moment. I give her a small nod.

"Tell me about your perfect girl."

"Well anytime I dreamed of her, she was beautiful beyond words, smart, strong, caring, loving, funny. But out of all things she had a way of understanding me. But you know what?"

"What?" She kisses softly then pulls back.

"The girl in my dreams, she was pretty perfect but she doesn't even come close to you. _You_ are perfect Arizona. Every dream I had and ones I'm making only come true because of you." I swoon at her confession and tears are burning at the corner of my eyes. She takes her hands and frames my face with them and leans in slowly. I eye her lips coming closer but she stops a millimeter away.

"You're the dream I never woke up from." Then she presses her lips to mine. It's a simple kiss that's just our lips making contact but then it becomes passionate. I swipe my tongue along her bottom lip and she grants me excess into her mouth. I plunge my tongue into her and she moans loudly. Her hands have landed on the small of my back and I shiver at the contact. I finger my way into her silk hair and pull her closer to me.

I wrench away to catch my breath. "We need to go upstairs. Now." She nods vehemently. I tug her up the stairs.

"What's the rush baby? We have all night." I know she is smirking behind me.

"I need to kiss every part of you. I need to hear you moan my name. I need to taste you. I need to be inside of you." I hear her growl. We make it into our bedroom. My surprise to her requires us to be naked. Our lips are magnetic and come together to battle for dominance. This is a battle we could care less to who loses. I push her towards the door of our balcony. My arms trap her between the door and my body. Her hands are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Callie's lips are on my neck, paying special attention to the skin behind my ear. Her teeth graze my skin. My body is buzzing from my arousal. I need her _now._

"Calliope…" I get no response. "Callie." She grunts to acknowledge me.

"I want to try somewhere different tonight." Pulling her head from my neck she looks up at me.

"Where are you thinking?" She asks.

"The balcony." I hear her breath hitch at the thought.

"Let's go."

We stand outside. It's getting chilly outside but that won't matter in a bit.

"Turn around baby." I command. I sweep her hair to the side and lay kisses at the nape of her neck and across her shoulder. I find the tiny zipper and pull it down. I kiss down her spine but when the dress fall to the ground I freeze. My wife is naked under her dress, no bra, no underwear. _Dear God._ She steps out of it and turns around with her one eyebrow raised at me. Her hands come to her hips and she cocks it to the right. I swallow hard at the body I'm staring at. She is a goddess with silver strappy hells on. God she's unbelievably sexy.

I pull my dress off but I'm not as prepared as my wife apparently. I still have a thong on. Her eyes have become murky now. She step forward and literally rips my thong off my body. I moan sound of lacing ripping. _Thank God, our neighbors are half a mile down and that we have trees around our house._

"Oh fuck Calliope." She palms my breast in one hand while the other caresses my ass. I rub up and down her back while our lips, teeth, and tongue tug, nip, and suck at each other. It's delicious in every way but I need more. As if Callie read my mind she pushes me against the railing of our balcony. My heels are still on and she is in the process of taking hers off. When she's finished and leaves a trail of hot open mouthed kisses down my body, starting from my lips down to my neck, to each breast, my stomach and stops at my mound. I look down with hooded eyes and I see mischief glint in her eyes.

"I want you to be loud for me Arizona. I don't care about our neighbors. I want to hear you tonight." She rumbles.

I can only nod at her request. Her fore finger and thumb yank hard at my pert nipples and I yelp in surprise.

"That's a start." She kneels in front of me and hooks my right left over her shoulder. Her tongue peaks out and takes a hasty lick. I moan loudly to appease her demands. I'm rewarded with a few more licks. Her fingers start to circle around my entrance. I'm dripping wet and I know it.

"Callie, baby, please…"

"Be patient mi amor."

Her tongue starts lavishing my clit. One of my hands is buried in her hair while my other hand is pulling at my breast. I hear myself getting louder. Calliope plunges three fingers into my pussy and I scream at the intrusion. She pumps her hand into me at a rapid succession that I feel close to the edge already. She wraps her lips around my clit and sucks hard. Her tongue is flicks it in time with her fingers. I'm running full speed into my orgasm. My legs are ready to give out and she can sense that. My heel is digging into her back. Pulling her fingers away from my sex, she drops my leg back to the ground and wraps both arms around my thighs to keep me steady. My hands go behind me to grip the railing.

"Let go baby." She whispers against me.

"Unghh! Unghh! Unghh! Faster Calliope." She works her talented tongue on my clit as fast she can and I feel the tightening in my core ready to be release. My grunts, moans, and whimpers are increased tenfold and that seems to push my wife ever more. Her stiff tongues stabs into my entrance and that's it. My eyes slam shut and I see colors blast before me.

"Oh God. CALLIOPE! I'm- I'm- com- coming! So hard for you!" I yell at the top of my lungs. My wife doesn't back off after waves after waves of pleasure have crashed over me. I can feel my core constricting for a second climax but I don't know if I can take it.

"Baby… I don-" I'm cut off by fingers entering me again and my walls gripping them. My stomach is burning from clenching so much. Callie's tongue is licking up every ounce of arousal coming from me.

"Cal- Callie. I can't take anymore." She nods against me.

"I'm just cleaning up a little." Her tongue is reaching all the right places but not my sensitive areas knowing if she does it'll hurt more than it being pleasurable. She stands and wraps her arms around my waist. I drop my head to her shoulder and kiss her neck. I smile at the feeling of being wrapped in my girl. We're both slick with sweat after our exertions.

"Give me a second and I have some plans for you." I breathe out.

"Take your time babe." I listen to her heart beat and her breathing. She places a kiss on top of my head. The feeling in my legs is coming back and I think I have enough strength to take my woman the way she needs. I walk us back in the bedroom and shut the door to the balcony but head to our large window. There's a full moon out tonight. I feel Callie's eyes following me.

"Stand in front of window. Put your hands against the glass and spread your legs like you're about to be patted down." I demand. I see the slight shiver go through her body at the tone of my voice. She does what I ask. I walk over to 'toy chest' at the end of our bed. It's locked up so the kids don't get into it. I pull out the strap on that Calliope loves with the eight inch dildo. She can take a lot more than I can. Standing behind her, I admire the strength that radiates from her toned back, her strong arms, firm ass, and muscular legs.

I slide the straps in place and look down to see my member stick out of me. I reach my hand to caress along her back side. I wind my arm back and swat my hand across my wife's right cheek. A moan releases from her throat. I know I could get her off just from spanking but that would ruin my plans. Her chest is heaving from anticipation.

"I love having you in this position Calliope." I husk while running my hands up and down her sides then down her back down to her ass. I grab as much as I can and spank both cheeks. I have a huge thing for my wife's ass. I lean down to kiss the small of her back and her arousal is picked up by my senses.

"Arizona…Please…Just fuck me."

"Say it."

"What?"

"What you just said." I say sternly.

"Fuck me baby. I need you to fuck me. _Hard._" My nostrils flare at her request and I can't say no to that. I run the tips of my fingers through her swollen folds and gasp at the wetness I feel. When I say my wife is wet, I mean she is soaking wet. I don't even bother preparing her for the toy and I just ram the eight inches into her tight hole. The red dildo slips into her with ease and her walls lock the toy in place.

"HOLY SHIT ARIZONA!" She screams and pounds a fist into the glass.

"Your pussy is so tight around me sweetie."

I slip almost completely out and push into her hard. My hand grip at her hips and I pick up my pace to ram into Callie. A sheen of sweat starts to cover her back and her breast are bouncing wildly. I sweep her hair to side into my hand and pull her head back to the side. I'm still pounding into her. The slap of the toy and her wetness is filling the room with my grunts and her moans. It's intoxicating to hear Calliope this out of control.

"Unghhh. Fuck babe. Unghh. Harder. Faster." My wife has a thing for being rough and it feeds into my libido. Her arms buckle eventually and her chest presses up against the glass. Her head is turn to the side and her arms come up by her head but her ass is still sticking out with her legs spread apart. I moan at the site.

"You want it rough baby? I'll give it to you. Just say so."

"Yes, I want it rough Arizona. Give it to me. Please." She begs.

"You know the safe word. Just in case but I don't think you'll need it." I add sweetly before I switch back over. She nods.

I lace my right hand with hers. My left hand comes around her front and grasp at her left breast. Her nipple is already hard and yank at it roughly. She growls at the pain. I lick a path up her spine. I press my chest into her sweaty back. Latching on her pulse point with my teeth, I start drilling into her pussy from behind. The glass sounds like it's going to break from my pounding. Her moans are so loud. _That's so sexy._ The window is starting to fog and Callie's left hand comes up and drags down. She reaches back and digs her nails into my neck. I groan at the pain.

"I'm so close Arizona." Callie moans.

I exert my last burst of energy into short hard thrust into her walls. I bring my hand and rub furiously at her clit. It's so hard and slick. I bite into her shoulder leaving marks for her to remember this night.

"Rig-right there babe. Oh God. Please. I'm-I- coming!" She yells. Her body starts to shake uncontrollably. I wrap my arm across her chest to keep her close while I slow my thrusts down to milk out her orgasm as much as I can. "ARIZONA!" Her walls clamp shut around me that it's hard to pull back but I do. I realize I'm so close to the edge with her I push roughly into her for another minute.

"God baby. I can't take anymore. Please pull out." She pleads. I don't listen until I come. "Arizona, please. I can-" Her second climax rip through her as so does mine when the hilt brushes my clit roughly for the last time.

"OH GOD CALLIE! Fuck!" I shake with her and we collapse into a pile of limbs tangled together on the floor. I end up on my back with Calliope's weight on top of me. I'm still deep into her depths. We try to catch out breaths before we speak. The smell of our juices surrounds us and our skin. I smile against her skin and kiss her to bring her come back to.

"Hmmm." She sighs.

"Hey baby."

"Hey you. I-I"

"What?"

"I told you to pull out honey."

"I know but you wanted it rough."

"It was unbelievable sexy." She lifts her hips to try to pull herself off of the toy but she sent herself into a third but less powerful orgasm. Her body stiffens against me and I rub at her too engorged clit to bring her down.

"Now I really need you to stop and pull out before it hurts sweetheart." I pull out slowly and I feel her wince. I take the strap on off and leave it on the floor to be picked up later.

"Okay. You think you can get into bed?" I ask.

"Yeah babe." We meet in the middle of the bed. Our lips join together in a languid, sweet, loving but desirable kiss to overcome the roughness I put us through.

"Callie, I want to be the big spoon tonight. Do you mind?"

"Never." Her smile blows me away.

"Catch a couple hours baby cause I want you to have enough energy to go a more couple rounds later."

"I love you Arizona. And don't worry; I'll be ready for all that and then some." She purrs. I pull her body flush to my front.

"Sleep now baby. I love you."

AN: So what'd you think?

AN: Moving this story forward a bit next chapter to set up the second half of this story. So many possibilities. Thank you for sticking with me. I know I say that a lot but as a writer I am so grateful!


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Hoping to keep you satisfied for as long as I can until I'm back to school next week. :)

AN: Also I started another story called It's Only For Your Eyes. If it's a hit with everyone I might turn it into a multi-chapter like this one.

* * *

Chapter 12

General POV

Dr. Wyatt is sitting in her usual seat across from Callie waiting for her to say something, anything but she's just as quiet as the therapist. It's been a month and half since the brunette has started seeing her again. The incident with Sofia has sent her back to a past she thought she buried a long time ago. It was just a trigger of all these emotions that she's having a hard time control. She knows better than to believe the voices in her head but now it's becoming difficult to distinguish between right and wrong. Old habits are hard to break and the ortho surgeon throws herself into her work, kids, wife, and practically anything that distracts her from her thoughts. Arizona is starting to worry for her wife's wellbeing because she can see the exhaustion setting in chocolate eyes that always look black these days.

"Callie…" The ortho surgeon snaps her head up at Dr. Wyatt with a conflicted stare.

"Yes?"

"What do you think?"

"Of what? I'm sorry I wasn't really listening."

"I was saying, do you think writing will help again? I can see a slight improvement when you come talk it out with me but we need to keep moving forward." Dr. Wyatt is a huge fan of the Robbins family and hates to see one of the heads of the family coming to see her. She understands that when you're traumatized at such a young age it can be hard to find ways to take all the negative energy to something positive. In this case, taking all the horrible things you were once told and not believing them.

"Can I try writing first? Then figure something else out if it doesn't work. But uhm-uh can I write them to Arizona or something because I hid this part of my life for a while and I want her to be a part of my improvement this time around?" She stutters.

"I think that would be a fabulous idea. That way even when you think you can't talk to anyone you can write and you'll have her read it so it still opens that line of communication." The therapist smiles at her client. The other woman is slightly uncomfortable but understands why she decided to start doing this again. "Is your wife here" She nods. "I'll be right back. I'm going to grab her."

She steps out of the room to find Dr. Robbins reading a magazine in the corner. "Dr. Robbins?"

The blonde looks up to the therapist. "Yes?"

"Can you come in before your wife's session is over?" The peds surgeon stands up and enters the room then spots her wife sitting on the couch. She drops herself next to the brunette and grasps onto her hand and squeezes it.

"So we've talked about Callie writing again to express how she's feeling again like when she was pregnant with Sofa but this time she wants her entries open for you to read. She wants you to be a part of this progress. I agree with her." Dr. Wyatt explains.

"Great. I'm more than happy to be a part of this." The blonde smiles dearly at her wife then to the therapist.

"I would also like to suggest that you come to our next session next week so you know where your wife is at." Arizona nods.

"Well Callie we had a good session and start writing. My homework is for you to write every time you have negative feelings coming from the wrong outlet. So try to keep a pen and something to write in close to you. I think it'll help relieve a lot of the tension you feel." The brunette agrees and stands with her wife trailing her.

"Thank you Dr. Wyatt. See you next week." She gives her a small smile and exits the office. Arizona hangs back for a second.

"I want to ask her question, I'll be right out in a sec."

The blonde surgeon turns to Dr. Wyatt, "How is she?"

"She's doing better since her fight with Sofia but she's stuck in her own world."

"Yeah, I know. Her best friend told me a while ago that she puts herself through this. That when the hurt becomes too much to handle she 'fades' away and that she gets stuck in the dark place because she's convinced no one can hurt her there. She's never done this with me and I don't know what to do for her." She struggles to keep herself from crying but then realizes Callie needs her to be strong right now.

"She's mentioned that to me and I'm monitoring it. She's right though, that's what she's doing. We're going to try to come up with ways she can prevent this type of thing from happening again once we get her out of this cycle." Arizona nods along.

"So what do I do until next time?"

"Keep her writing. It worked really well last time and I'm pretty confident that it'll help this time around. But we'll talk more next week. And this isn't easy for you, I can see it. You love her very much. If you need to vent sometime, I'm open ears for you too." The blonde takes note of that sentiment then meets her wife in the waiting room.

Callie grabs for Arizona's hand immediately and lets herself be dragged down the corridor to head to the elevators. She stops in her tracks to slow Callie down and try to engage her a little. She's beyond worried that her wife is trying to take care of everyone and not herself. It's a defense mechanism to care for others and give everything up then face what's really bothering them. The brunette turns around confused for the hold up.

"Honey, slow down. It's just you and me here." She tries to soothe Callie down. Now that she is staring at her, she can see dark circles around her eyes and how lifeless they look. This isn't her girl but she's in there somewhere.

"I'm sorry." The brown eyed beauty hangs her head.

"Hey… look at me. What's going on in that head of yours?"

"It's a mess. That's what's going on. Ever since my major fight with Sofia it's gotten worse. I get that she apologized and made it up to me but her words are all I hear sometimes and then other times they combine with what my parents said before too. Then there's my voice in my head telling me that they're all wrong but it's in hiding in the corner." She sniffs back some tears and tries to hide her face from the blonde. Arizona takes her into my arms to try to give her some comfort.

"Well I'm telling you that it's going to be okay. You're going to write when you can and I'm going to read them. I won't let you fall through again baby. Whatever you can't do, I will. This is how this works. Remember?" The blue eyed woman throws back a couple lines that Callie has said to her before. It played a significant part to their relationship.

Callie reveals a smile big enough for Arizona to let go and walk down the hall. "Yeah, I remember. If you don't mind, I'll probably hang out in my office and write. I need to get some things written down. I'm not scheduled for much and I can have my interns take care of everything. I'll meet you at home." They reach the main lobby having to part ways, they lean into each for a kiss. Arizona has a busy day and now plans to handle the kids later so her wife can take a break for once.

* * *

Arizona's POV

After leaving Callie in her office, I'm swamped with kids all day with some idiot interns who can't do simple blood tests. My wife isn't far from my mind all day but I have to focus on the kids in front of me for now. I'm at the nurses' station signing off on a chart when Karev walk up next to me.

"All the post-ops are done and they're all stable."

"Good work today Karev. You handled yourself well. I might even let you take a lead on a case I have in a couple of days." I hint then walks away to head home.

I had four surgeries today but all successful but not any less complicated. The first one was a baby who had a brain bleed from literally being dropped on their head then a 6 year old boy who had a ruptured appendix. After that a 10 year old girl who has a habit of eating her hair clogged everything from her stomach down through her intestines which backed everything up in her system. Finally my last surgery was a 17 year old girl coming in for lung collapse during her indoor soccer game. I'm totally wiped out and all the kids should be home by now with Calliope.

Changing out of my scrubs I reach for my phone to tell Callie to throw a movie on for the kids so she can relax and I'll grab some dinner for everyone on my way home. I'm feeling some original burgers, potato salad, and chips from Famous Dave's. I walk into a quiet house and set all the food on the table. I set up dinner and head into our theater. _Yes, we have a theater._ Everyone is spread out on the gigantic chairs engrossed in Transformers.

"Pause the movies guys and grab some dinner then you can come back to eat in here." All heads turn to me but they shuffle off their chairs. I greet each of my kids and give me a kiss on their foreheads. Calliope is last to leave the room. I stop her from leaving.

"Why don't you get your dinner together and go write?" She nods without saying anything and goes about her business. Everyone comes back into the theater and practically swallows their food without chewing. I chuckle at the sight.

"Where'd Mama go?" Adam asks.

"She went to lay down for a little bit." He shrugs it off.

"We're gonna let her be for now, okay?" I get grunts in response.

"Mom, is she really laying down?" Grey wonders.

"She's writing but I wanted to give her a break. I don't want her to wear herself out when she's been taking everything on lately." He tilts his head at me but takes my reply.

The movie has ended and all the kids are in bed soundly asleep. I thought I would get more questions but Calliope all tucked them into bed. She really can't relax for a second even when I said I would take care of everything. But that it's a maternal thing, I suppose. I'm sitting up against the headboard waiting on my wife to come out of the bathroom. She comes out in one of my hoodies and shorts. I look up at her and she brings out tri-folded paper from the pocket which I would assume is her letter.

"Here." She hands it to me. "You can read it. I'm exhausted and you can read it here. I'll more likely be knocked out the minute I lay down." She leans over and gives me a proper good night kiss and snuggles her head into my lap. This is one of my favorite ways of cuddling with her. It happens occasionally when I'm up reading an article or getting ready for a surgery the next day.

"Thank you. Good night sweetness." Just like she said she passes out right away. I giggle at the thought of how she can sleep through anything and at an instant. The paper in my hands feel heavy and I'm not exactly sure what I'm reading. I unfold the letter and see my wife's scrawl.

_All the things stuck in my head-_

_1. You aren't good enough._

_2. I only have one mother and she isn't here._

_3. I don't want to be anything like you._

_4. Who could love you?_

_5. Only way you're going to get married and have a family is if someone settles for less._

_6. What does anyone see in you?_

_Those are main phrases that float around in my head 24/7. A few were spoken from Sofia and then the rest are my entire mother and father's doing. I've come to terms with what I was put through but those words can't be taken back. They mean something even if it seems so insignificant. I guess this is why I have to start writing again. I can't go off the handle again like I did this the first time when I was pregnant. But I know I'm close to it. I bury my head into everything in front of me and not acknowledge the damage that I've put myself through. I know how this works. If I don't get myself under control I'll end up punching a hole through a wall and crack. I have a wife and family. I can't do this to them._

_Dealing with the beatings was one thing but the words that were spoken to me hurt even more. The bruises went away. Granted I hated looking into a mirror for most of my teenage life but the impact of those words cut deep. At some point I believed most of them. So I pushed myself to want to be worthy of someone else but what I wasn't told is that I have to learn to love me first before I let someone else love me. I found out that lesson from you, Arizona. Maybe you didn't see it happen but you made me into the version of myself that I thrived for._

_Ever have a fight with yourself? I'm constantly doing that right now. My voice is telling me to not a give a fuck about what they think but it isn't the simple. The lines are starting to blur and I don't know what to believe anymore. I think what's worse is that two of those phrases I listed come from my own daughter. How do you convince yourself you're good enough when the person you're trying to raise doesn't see you that way? Aren't mothers supposed to be strong, honorable, and stable? I don't feel like any of those things. I understand she didn't mean it but deep down didn't she have to think those things? When you're at your most angry state the nastiest things are said because you've had to think about those things before because when you finally say them it's because you were pushed over the edge._

_I don't ever want my kids to feel this conflict. I can understand every once in a while but not like this. Not constantly. I want them to know they are perfect in every way and that when the time comes someone will love all those things you hate about yourself._

_Arizona, you're my silver lining even with the lines blurred. When it gets real bad in my head I think about the way you see me and for a second I can see clearly. It's your love that takes me away from the edge of the cliff. You're everything. This isn't easy for me, especially the parts about my parents. But you… you erase all those phrases when you say those three words._

_I love you._

_Or when you smile at me. Or when you hug me from behind. Or when we make love. I hate that I'm not the mother our kids deserve right now and the wife you need. I know what I'm doing. I know that I'm hiding behind work and the busy schedules of our kids but I have this ridiculous theory that if I move fast enough all these things can't catch up with me. But then there's the moment where I finally stop moving and it all crashes into me from behind. I want to break that cycle and that strategy and I believe that you're all the strategy I need. That's not exactly realistic so I'm going to explore some options and this is a huge one. _

_I love you for loving me Arizona. One day, hopefully soon, I'll believe in your words again because they are the only thing holding me together. You're my good man in a storm and I deeply want to be yours again._

I re-read Calliope's words at least three times. I silently cry at the pain my wife feels. How can I make her believe me? That's something I'm going to have to look into during her next session. I want her to know that she's the opposite of all those phrases. Even when she's distant like she has been, she's still the amazing mom who is home every night to kiss our kids goodnight, the mom who attends every dance recital and sports game, the mom who is so thinly stretched out but still manages. Those kids adore her and so do I. In a way, I'm glad that I can help in some way. Not that I can tell but it's something.

I shift my body so my wife's head is under my chin. Her breathing washes over my chest just like how I love it. Her arms instantly wrap around my torso and her leg moves in between mine. My hands come to link at the base of her spine under her top and brush my thumbs over the fuzz of hair there.

"I love you so much Calliope. Those other voices are so wrong. I need you to fight through the fog baby because I need you back. You're trying and I love you for that." I whisper into the darkness. Tears haven't stopped since I ended the letter but it's all I can do. I finally fall asleep by the comfort of Callie's weight on top of me and her steady breathing. _Come back to Calliope, please._

* * *

AN: A lot of the detail and less dialogue. I know, not much my style but it helps me get into the next chapter. Thoughts?


	13. Chapter 13

AN: This chapter is kind of a filler so be patient. Thank you. I'm finally getting this story in the right direction again. Hopefully I can start updating a little regularly again. Thank you for being patient with me.

AN: I have no medical knowledge with this type of stuff.

AN: Shout out to TeamArizona who has helped me push through this chapter finally. You've been an amazing supporter and keeping my ego in check. Thank you so much. I appreciate everything we've talk about.

* * *

Chapter 13

Arizona's POV

I'm walking down my wife's Ortho wing looking for her. I want to confirm our time for our session with Dr. Wyatt. She's been writing a lot and let me tell you, it gets difficult to read some of those letters. Sure it gives me insight on the life I didn't have to witness and the pain I can't even imagine but it hurts me to know some of the ways she sees herself. Well more like forced to think. Her office is empty and I head over the nurses' station.

"Hi Glenda, have you seen Dr. Robbins?"

"Hi Arizona. I believe she is still in her surgery. Do you want me to page or call her?" She requests.

"No, it's fine. What OR?"

"Three."

"Thank you. Have a nice day." I smile at her and walk towards the surgical floor. It's not often that I get to watch my girl operate and when I can, I take advantage of it. She's a goddess in the OR with precision and grace. I plop down in the front row to ogle Callie a bit. Music is blaring as usual, anything with a good beat and bass she'll have playing. The Chief isn't too keen on it but she's the best orthopedic surgeon in the country and the head of the department so she can do what she pleases. People call us a power couple and I have no shame in agreeing with that statement.

I look down to see my wife look up at me. She's smiling at me from behind her mask and I can tell by the crinkles by her eyes. I give her a nod and she goes back to work. This is supposed to be a typical hip replacement for a father who took a bad fall off a ladder trying to fix his roof. Her hands glide through their movements so effortlessly. Her scrub team knows her every move with her. It's amazing to watch, more like a movie. I'm so busy daydreaming that the sound of monitors from inside the gallery that pull me out of my thoughts. I look day at my wife who automatically goes into action.

"What the hell happened?!" Calliope moves around the body to try to find the problem then she freezes. I watch her take a deep breath. She does this when she's trying to find the solution then her eyes snap open.

"He's allergic to the anesthetic! Dr. Watson, do your job!"

"Dr. Robbins, we can't take him off now, his hip is still open."

"You know what, let me take care of that! You try to transfer him to another anesthetic as quickly as possible." She turns to one of her scrub nurses, "I need to open his airway right now!"

She tried to close up the hip in its condition in a matter of minutes but Dr. Watson can't transfer fast enough and then the monitor flat lines.

"Time of death, 18:38." She calls it and exits the OR in the scrub room.

I run out of the gallery right away and stop behind the scrub room door. I watch through the window when Callie rips her scrub cap up and chucks it into the sink. Then all of the sudden she throws her arm across the item on the counter in front of her. My eyes widen at the sheer rage I see in her body language. Her left hand winds back and punches a whole right through the dry wall. I rush in and grab at her elbow when she pulls back to do it again. She stops all her movements.

"I need a piece of paper Arizona." Her voice is detached. I know what she's getting at, she needs to writing. I bring out my memo pad in my pocket with my pen and hand it to her. Callie only writes down a few lines then hands it back to me.

"I need to go notify the family." She walks out and I follow quickly behind her. It's never easy a patient especially over something over allergies that, I would assume, they didn't know about. I watch her from around the corner spotting the family and sits across from them. I see tears welling in her eyes as the wife and son start to sob. Calliope tries to stand to give the family some space when the wife slaps her across the face. I move from my spot right away.

"You said this was a routine surgery! You murderer!" The patient's wife cries. Callie takes the hit then backs away while I step in front of her.

"Mrs…" I drawl.

"Mrs. Watson."

"Your husband was allergic to anesthesia and there's no way to indicate that because he's never had surgery before. His throat had closed off and his heart couldn't take it. Switching over to a general anesthetic in less than a few second is near to impossible. Dr. Robbins did everything she could to keep him alive. She kept trying to resuscitate him for longer that was necessary." I butt in.

"I-I…" Mrs. Watson can't even finish her sentence until she breaks down to the floor.

Callie crawls on the floor with her, "I can take you to see him to see him one last time, if you would like." Mrs. Watson nods her head and grips her son's hand. I watch her walk the family down to the morgue to say their goodbyes.

I follow in the back ground. She sets him up and lets the wife and son enter and sobs emanate from both of them and my wife walks out of the room with her head hung and shoulders slumped. We give the family some space. I pull my wife into me and she leans into my embrace. Her arms circle my waist and tighten like I'm anchoring her to earth.

She takes a deep breath and steps away from me. "I'm going to wait for them. Then I'll meet you for our appointment upstairs in a little while." Her voice is in doctor mode.

"Okay sweetie. Page me if you need me." I kiss her cheek lightly and leave the morgue. Losing a patient over something as an allergy to anesthetics is a hard pill to swallow especially when a procedure is supposed to be simple.

* * *

I'm sitting in Dr. Wyatt's office waiting on my wife to arrive. I'm a little uncomfortable since these sessions aren't exactly for me.

"Arizona, why don't we talk while we wait for Callie?" She suggests.

"Sure. What about?" I hedge.

"How are you dealing with all of this? It can be difficult being on the other end of this situation."

"Uhm, I feel so useless some days but the letters help a lot. They keep me grounded too because I get to know what's going on in her head which can be difficult when she's mastered how to hide herself."

"It's a process. That was the purpose of the letters being opened to the both of you." I nod along. "Be patient. We'll be going over a few things today. That's why I wanted you here." Callie walks in at that moment.

"I'm sorry for being late, I was with a family." She avoids my eyes. I sigh.

"It's okay Callie, come join us." She pauses, waiting on Callie to take a seat. I take her hand in mine and she squeeze tightly.

"So I've heard that writing has helped immensely." Callie nods. "Did something happen today?"

She clears her throat, "Uhm, yeah. I lost a patient today over a simple procedure, a hip replacement. He fell off a roof doing some repairs and he was allergic to the anesthetic and we couldn't switch him over fast enough to save him." My wife's eyes cloud with tears.

"What happened to your hand? May I ask?" Dr. Wyatt notices.

"I-I punched through the dry wall in the scrub room after I called his time of death." She breathes out. I tighten my grasp on her hand and then I remember she wrote in my memo pad. I pull it out of my pocket and stare at it.

"Callie, I know that for you, a way of releasing tension is to feel pain back but you can't keep doing that. You'll get yourself hurt." She states.

"I know that's I have a punching bag and kick boxing equipment in the garage and I use it when I have to but I couldn't control myself this time. Like you said when it all gets to be too much I feel the need to feel pain to feel relief. If that makes sense." Callie's eyes drift to what I have in my lap. Dr. Wyatt sees it too.

"What's with the memo pad Arizona?"

"Uhm, Callie wrote in it before talking to the family." I hand her the memo pad and Dr. Wyatt's eyes scan the few lines my wife has jotted down.

_#1_

_I'm sick of feeling like this. _

_I broke another promise._

"You want to explain this to me? I'm a little lost here."

"I-uh '#1' comes from the first letter I gave to Arizona. It was a list of phrases that come to my head and #1 was "You aren't good enough." The minute I called time of death it came crashing back to me. Then the other two are pretty self-explanatory. I'm sick of being this person because my sons and my daughters deserve better. My wife deserve better. When we got married I promised I would be everything to her and our family and I've become nothing. Also I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't punch at things anymore."

"Hey! No!" I turn my whole body to face her and take both her hands in mine. "You are still everything! Are you a little different? Yes. Our kids are worried but they still see you as their hero babe. That hasn't changed." I try to convince her. Callie refuses to look me in the eyes.

"How'd you feel after you wrote?" Dr. Wyatt pushes.

"I felt relief but I wish I had done it first before I punch my hand through the wall." Callie tries to joke.

"I'm glad the writing is helping but I wanted to talk to both of you about something I want you to think about." She paused to wait for our reply. We nod. "Have you thought about taking a trip back to Michigan Callie?"

My wife's eyes turn hard and her jaw sets. "No."

"Your hometown holds a lot over you. You associate a lot of your memories and your parents to that place. I'm not telling you to go visit your parents but just see the places that hold a terrible memory. The only way to get through this is to face the memories and let them go."

"I can't take work off to take a trip like that." Callie says coolly. "My kids have school and Arizona can't leave her ward out of the blue."

"I'm not saying now but in the near future. Maybe when the kids have a break? I suggest that you don't go by yourself. Recounting memories such as yours can be rough and you'll need someone to anchor you." Dr. Wyatt seems pretty set on this idea.

"Honey, we can look into it. We're both department heads, we can make time. She's right the kids have spring break coming up. They've never been to Michigan, they could see their Aunt Hannah and I bet you would love to see her too." As much as I think this trip would be very difficult for my wife I think it would help break through this funk she's in.

"Okay. As long as you guys come with me, I think I can handle this. At least I hope so." She's reluctant but settles.

"We can talk out how this trip is and how much you should do at least during your trip. How many places you think you can handle seeing? Or what happens if you run into your parents? Well try to make a plan but we'll prepare how to handle it without having to hit anything. How does that sound?"

"U-uh t-that sounds good to me." Her head hangs and I pull her into my side. She places her head on my chest and I feel wetness but don't voice it.

"Did you want to talk about something else?" Dr. Wyatt asks.

"Yeah, after what happened today. What else can I do to lessen the tension quickly or tips to help? I can't have that incident follow me at home or anywhere else for that matter." The love I radiate after her words is probably palpable. Her heart is so big, this is the first time she's actually taking care of herself. _Thank God._

"Counting backwards from ten is good start. Having a stress ball with you at all times. You already write but when that isn't available you can pull yourself out of the situation immediately. But otherwise, you'll have to learn to talk yourself down and keep yourself in the present. Tell yourself the reasons why you get up every morning."

"Thank you. I'll see what works for me." Her voice sounds so distant to me. We've had a long day as it is so I don't blame her.

"Well we've gone over everything. Questions before we end our session?"

"No." Callie and I say in unison. We stand hand in hand and leave the therapist's office. In comfortable silence we end up at my peds wards. We've stopped in front of the double doors and waiting to see who will break the quiet.

"I'm done for the day. I'll see you at home. I love you. Thank you for being there today." She kisses me softly and releases my hands.

"You're welcome honey. I love you too." I watch her back and hips sway as she walks away. I know she's getting better and maybe she'll get the relief she needs to get passed all her demons.

* * *

I walk through my house to see it mostly empty until I walk past Sofia's room with the door half open. She's cuddled up on her bed with a cocoon of blankets watching a movie. I knock on the doorframe lightly and slip on in. Of course, she's watching Bridesmaids. As much as I would like to say it's an inappropriate movie for her age, it's funny and me, Sof, and Calliope love to watch it together when no one else is home.

"Hey kiddo. Bridesmaids?"

Sofia's eye flick up at me. "Hi mom and yeah. Mama and I were watching but she left me to watch the rest a little while ago."

"Huh. Where is she?" I ponder.

"She's on the back porch writing last time I checked." I hear a slight hint of sadness from her voice.

"Oh okay. You okay Sof?" Taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Just thinkin." Sofia sighs. "Mama's been writing a lot since our fight and I can't help but think that she wouldn't be so 'in her head' if I didn't say that I don't want to be anything like her."

I exhaled, "Sof, this isn't your fault. If it wasn't your fight with her it would have been something else. Just be patient baby girl. She'll come back."

"What do I tell the others? Peyton and Adam especially have no idea what's going on with Mama. I can only get them to understand so much."

"Hey. Don't worry about them. I'll take care of it." What she says is true though. They wonder why their Mama doesn't feel like playing around as much anymore or why she's always in the garage or why she's always writing. It's hard to explain such a difficult topic with an 8 and 12 year old. But they're working with it and Callie's trying her best to put our kids first.

* * *

I put on a coat and look out the back door to spot my wife sitting in a lounge chair with a legal pad in her lap. A thick blanket is wrapped around her body to keep her warm at this time of night. The rest of the kids are doing their own thing with their friends or at Kelsey's house. A breeze pushes her dark tresses around and Calliope tries to control it by running her hand through her hair. I still find her beautiful and stunningly miraculous. I step out into the back yard and sit on the lounge next to my wife. She turns her head to look at me, takes the blanket off of her and scoots forward. I get the hint and wrap the blanket around us and sit behind her. She leans back into me while I bring my arm around her soft torso. Having five kids have been good to my wife, still in shape. I nuzzle the crook of her neck. She tilts her head to the side to give me more room.

"I love you." I whisper against her.

"I love you too Arizona." She inhales deeply. "Thank you for handling me. I know all this couldn't be easy on you."

I tighten my grip on her, "No need to thank me honey. This was a part of our vows. We're working through it. How's the writing?"

"It's fine. I'm almost done, if you want to read." I nod against her neck. I wait a few minute then she clicks her pen shut. She settles into my front then hands the legal pad to me. I take it and flip to the first page. I kiss her hair and hold her close and start reading.

_Hero…_

_I always wanted to be someone's hero. I had a few when I was younger. A few of mine were my best friend and a few other who were by my side unconditionally especially when I finally could open up about my life to them. It was never easy but I had to trust in someone besides being stuck in my head all the time. _

_Truthfully, for a long time Suzie was my hero because I truly believed she saved me and I still think that to this day. I thought about not wanting to live my life anymore. I felt so worthless under the beating and my mother never thinking anything I did was good enough was a lot to handle. She always protected me the best way she could. I remember all the times she talked me from jumping off the edge because she would always tell me I was meant to be more than what my parents put me out to be. _

_We were friends right away when we were 12 because we had every class together all year. The first time she ever noticed something was off for me is the day everything changed. I took a beating from my dad the day before because Tina caught him smoking again when he swore he was quitting. He needed to release the urge to smoke by using me. I had a busted lip, a black eye, and badly bruised shoulder. I hid the black eye the best I could with cover up and wore eye liner just so when it started to smear it would take away the effect of the black eye. My lip was hard to cover up but I bullshitted some story about Aria and I wrestling and she kneed me on accident. It seemed to keep her from asking about anything else._

_After school though, for volleyball practice I always changed super early so no one ever saw the discoloration on my body. I took off my shirt to change into my practice shirt when I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around to see Suzie staring at me, well more like right through me. I shield myself as fast as I could but I tugged my shirt in the wrong direction and yelped. Suzie came over to me and helped me without saying a word. I'll always remember what she said._

"_Don't think I haven't noticed all the bruises, cuts, and how you flinch at sudden movements. I'm not asking you to tell me what happened or anything… yet. But when you're ready to go there or when you need someone to talk about it, I'm here Callie. Let me be here for you."_

_I didn't tell her what happened right away but I did eventually and it was the best decision I made. Someone was there to help the dreams stop, to keep me from shutting down, someone that cared. It meant everything. _

_Until I met you Arizona, she was everything that you've become. You are the wall the protect me, the safety net to catch me, the ear to listen, my backbone to keep me standing, my voice of reason, and my strength. Without you a lot of my dreams would have stayed piped dreams. You say I'm your hero but I haven't seen myself in that light in a while. You say I'm our kids hero but I see you as theirs. Maybe it's because we see the best in each other but I know that you're my hero. You saved me and you still are. _

_This trip to Michigan will be a lot to deal with but I finally see why I need to do this. I know we don't have to see my parents but I feel like I should. They hold a lot over me and our kids deserve to at least meet their other set of grandparents. They don't get to have a relationship with them but at least the kids will never have to wonder anymore. As long as you'll be next to me through this trip then I think I can do it. It'll be a ton of tears and I'll need you to hold me. Other times you'll have to let me yell and go off the handle to let go of the anger. _

_I know these letters are for you as they are for me. Thank you for taking the time to read them. I wish I could voice out most of my emotions like you do but with this I can't. This is the best I can do. I've planned most of the trip it's the matter of finalizing the details and we can do this. I love you so much and I'm forever in love with you. _

_Love you with all my heart,_

_Your Calliope_

I wipe the few tears that have escaped my eyes and kiss her temple. She clutches at my right hand and her left squeezes my thigh. This trip is going to be hard but worth it, especially if it can get my Calliope to let go of even a small fraction of the hurt in that beautiful heart of hers.

"I'm in love with you too Calliope. I love you. Thank you baby." I hush into her ear. I sit on the lounge with my girl wrapped in my arms soaking in the strength she has. She refuses to see the strength that she radiates. I'm lucky for the woman who loves me fiercely and our kids have the best mother who always puts them first. One day she'll see that too. I'll make sure of it. We look up at the stars from our back yard lost in our thoughts. _Please let Calliope finally get the answer she deserves._

* * *

AN: I'm sorry for taking so long but thanks for reading. Thoughts? Suggestions? What else would you like to see? Granted I know the story line I want for this story, maybe I can try to incorporate what you guys want in my story too.

AN: Help me out with the next chapter of It's Only For Your Eyes To See? Just PM me. I kinda need a little push. Much love to you all. xox.


	14. Author's Apology

Hello my faithful readers,

I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to update. I didn't mean to tease with posting this. College is killing me right now and I can't exactly put it on the back burner. The stars aligned to put all of my finals for all of my classes on the same day. Also my finals are the week before actually finals week. I don't know how I got so lucky (sarcasm) but it did and I have a ton of studying to do just to survive. I'll probably be out of the writing game until May when I'm done and back home for the summer. Once again, I apologize.

But I'm more than willing for my readers to message me your ideas for either one of my stories. I love hearing what you guys think and it does help in creating my story line. And I would like your input on something, I was debating on creating a twitter page that you guys could follow and tweet me your ideas and thoughts on the stories and we could all talk Grey's. With those of you with a twitter, let me know if you would even like that idea or not. Thanks!

I love you all!

Much love.

-Izzy


	15. Chapter 14

AN: Sorry it's been a while but I'm finally finished with college for the year. Now I'm settled back at home and hopefully I'll be able to update regularly.

AN: This chapter is very long. I figured I've made you guys wait so long for this update that I would give you pretty much a two-in-one update. **Reviews, comments, thoughts? **I love to hear from you all. Much love to you all. Xoxo

* * *

Chapter 14

Arizona's POV

The first two days of our week long vacation in Michigan was filled with Callie taking the family to her favorite places from her childhood. As much as it was torture there were places that were held near to Callie's heart. I think my favorite place was the ice cream place called Smoothies on 7. It was the best soft serve ice cream I've ever had and it took me forever to choose the flavor that I wanted. The way she spoke about memories at that ice cream place was refreshing. If she isn't talking about me, our kids, or work it just seems to have this distant tone to it which is the complete opposite of what I'm used to. She used to love to talk, and not in an annoying way. Callie has this way of lighting up the room with just a smile and using small talk, it's a gift.

We're staying in a decent size hotel room that of course is more of a presidential suite. Granted, we could of down-graded to something simpler, but I do love the room. It's spacious for a family of our size. I couldn't even begin to show the gratitude I have for the bathroom, gigantic Jacuzzi bath, double sinks, also a walk in shower, talk about heaven. Anyways, today is going to be a little rough. Callie wanted to start our vacation with her happy memories, but now that it's time to open up about that part of her past she has always kept to herself. Laughter filters through our walls and I smile as I roll onto my back in bed. That's something we've missed, Calliope's laugh. Its music to my ears and ours kids would kill to make their Mama laugh. I finally leave our bed to seek out the source of such noise.

Callie's in a wrestling match with Adam, Peyton, and Hayden. It's not the first time I've caught them in this position. It started with Sofia when she loved to roll around with Callie but then when Grey came around he just loved to fight with her too. Not to hurt each other but in that loving way that a mother and son can. It's become a tradition within the kids but since Sofia and Grey have gotten older, they just ref these matches now. But it's become three on one and seeing as my wife is in Ortho she has no problem taking them on. I lean my body against the wall while crossing my arms watching them.

"Hey! Mama you can't do that! Grey!"Adam yells at his older brother while my wife wraps him in her arms in a huge bear hug.

"Sorry dude, it was fair game. Pey, you aren't allowed to hang on her back." Grey chuckles. "Hayden, what are you doing?"

Hayden is trapped in between Callie's legs and he's trying to wiggle his way out but not really getting anywhere. My heart swells at the smile on her face while handling our kids, with Grey on all fours trying to get the best view of their wrestling positions. Who knew that he would work as a wrestling referee on his free time? Sofia is taking pictures of them from all different angles on the furniture with her professional camera. I watch them from my spot. It's a turn of events when all three of them get out of their Mama's hold, so Adam sits on her legs, Hayden lays across her torso, and Peyton pinning her arms to the carpet.

"Pin!" Grey yells. Cheers of victory are shouted within my younger children while Calliope groans at the loss while getting up from under them. She spots me against the wall and sends a wink my way. Even after all these years she still makes my stomach do flips. I smile at her and in return I give her my best dimpled smile.

"Alright guys, why don't we call for some breakfast so then you four can go to Aunt Hannah's for the day?" She delegates.

"What about Sof?" Peyton asks. She's in that age where she just wants to follow her big sister around.

"Me, mommy, and Sof have some stuff to do today."

"Can I come?" Peyton lays it on thick with the pout she's learned from me.

"Sorry sweetie but no. You can stop pouting because this is a big people thing." While Callie giggles. "You can hang out with Marcy while we're gone."

"Yay!"

"Sof? Why don't you go call for breakfast?" Sofia nods and picks up the hotel phone and lists off the buffet of food I'm sure that's going to come our way. Callie has connections to the owner of this place so we've been getting free room service. Not that I mind, because with 5 kids they could run up the bill.

"Good morning, beautiful." I still blush but smile at my wife.

"Morning sweetheart. How's that ego of yours? Losing to our kids again." I tease.

"Hey! It's harder than it looks." Taking a kiss to the cheek.

We spend the morning just talking and enjoying each other's company while eating breakfast. But eventually we leave the hotel to head to Hannah's house. She's Kelsey's younger sister, so she's like Callie's younger sister too. They've kept in touch throughout the years and even Hannah gave one of her kids Callie's name. We pull up to a typical suburban neighborhood but the house we drive up to isn't the same as the others. This house is a large one level house with a two car garage. It's more of a ranch style house. The double doors of the house open to a small petite woman with short bobbed cut blonde hair, with a taller brown hair but muscular man coming behind her.

"Callie!" The short woman runs to the car as my wife rips her seatbelt off her body and flings the car door open.

"Hans!" She hugs her tightly and swings her around. "Hey Mitchell."

"Hi Cal. Happy to see you. You're all she can talk about." Pointing to his wife.

"Shut up! I missed her, okay?! Where's that wife of yours Cal?"

"Hi Hannah." I've grown to love her too. She has that personality that everyone loves. I give a hug while all the kids fight to come out of the large SUV.

"Well girl, don't you keep getting prettier every time I see you."

"Stop hitting on my wife Hans or I'm gonna have to hit you." Callie half jokes. "Now where are my nieces?"

"Aunt Callie!" Two younger girls scream from the front porch.

"Hi Marcy. Hi Cal. How are my girls doing?" Picking both girls in her arms and bringing them inside as they giggle at their Aunt. We follow the trio inside and settle ourselves onto the couches. Looking towards my wife, it's almost crazy to see the amount of love she radiates to anyone around her. The kids sit there all talking at once at their Aunt Hannah and Uncle Mitchell. They've only visited once and it was when Peyton was like four or five. Families get busy but we try to make time for as many people as we can but we're also full time surgeons with kids who have full time lives. I sit there observing in the back ground and not minding at all.

"Hey babe, I hate to pull you away but I think we should head out soon." I remind my wife.

"Alright alright. We'll see you girls later, okay?"

"Okay Aunt Callie." Mini Callie turns towards me. "Promise to bring her back Aunt Arizona?"

"I promise Cal." As I tickle her belly and she giggles.

"Hey Hans, we're heading out so we'll see ya when we pick them up. Thank you for taking them. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I brought the whole family." She addresses Hannah.

"It's no problem. Just remember we love you and stay in the present when you see all those place, kay?" Callie nods then hugs her old friend.

Sofia, Callie, and I leave the house and take the silent drive to somewhere I don't know. Callie's driving and her knuckles are turning whiter by the second. I place my hand on her thigh and feel her body relax a smidge. I have no idea what state of mind she's in but I know this is very hard on her. She pulls into an empty parking lot. No words are said as Sofia and I take in our surroundings. There are two baseball diamonds on the right side of this area, a restaurant called George Murphy's in the center, and a giant hill then two soccer fields to the left.

Calliope finally breaks the silence in the car. "This was the exact spot the first time my dad beat me, except he parked so we were facing the road. I never saw it coming. He signed me out of school and barely spoke to me as he drove . We drove around in circles for a while until he decided on this place. During the day, this place is usually this empty." She takes a shuddering breath then continues.

"This was the first time I saw my father turn into a monster. I was always scared of him growing up but he terrified me here. I never could look at him the same after that moment. I took blow after blow until I couldn't feel anything. Then when he was done, he took me somewhere to eat and convinced me that if I didn't do the things that I did up until that point, he wouldn't have had to do what he did." Her chin drops to her chest, it's not until I hear sniffling that I know that she's starting to cry. I take one of her hands in mine and she holds onto it as if it's her lifeline.

"How old were you this time Mama?" Sofia asks quietly.

"Uhm.." Callie swallows audibly. "I was eleven." I squeeze her hand.

"I haven't been back here since. I've driven by but not sitting here like this."

"Remember that you're safe now. Let it go. That's the whole point of us being here babe." I try to smooth her anxiety down.

"I know. Let's keep going. There's a couple other places that I want to take you before we head back to Hans." She starts the car again without letting go of my hand. I stare in the mirror on the sun visor and see Sofia in deep thought.

"Whatcha thinking back their Sof?" I ask.

"I just don't get how a parent could lay a finger on their child like that. As much as you and Mama have gotten upset with us, I've never thought for a second you guys would touch us in that way." Sofia pushes out quickly.

"Sometimes parents don't know any better. It would have been one thing if parents spanked kids as a way as discipline and kept it that way and not to hurt their children to scar them. My father used it as a way of torture not discipline as he thought he did." Callie replies.

We drive for another twenty or so minute until we are moving through what looks like a park. There are hills covering the area and multiple parks. There's a lot of roads and land, but it's gorgeous. The tall hills with bright green grass, where it levels out many picnic tables are splayed out.

"He drove me through here one time. I can't remember which time but he was more angry than all the times before this incident here. I might have been 13 by then. As always I took everything he gave, but this time he really wanted to petrify me and boy, did he succeed." Callie squeezes my hand while driving with the other.

"What happened here Ma?" Sofia asks. After our talk, she wanted to understand more. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get Callie to have Sof with us during this part of our trip. This is about Callie healing but maybe Sof can get those answers she's been itching for too. I take what I can get out of my wife but Sof and other kids aren't as understanding yet.

"Your abeulo really wanted to hurt me this day…"

_Why today? I had volleyball try outs today. What am I going to say to coach when she asks why one of her captain didn't show? I guess I'll have to come up with something. I hope he doesn't aim for places that I can't hide. Last time he left bruises on my forearms and I had to wear long sleeves for weeks. _

_"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be your father?!" He yells. I can take the verbal damage as much as the physical but it doesn't mean it hurts any less._

_"Do you?"Repeating himself. "I could have cut you off completely! I didn't have to stick around but your grandmother would never forgive me. I should have just listened to my gut. What kind of daughter puts their father through this type of heart ache? Do you not want anything to do with me? I mean I love you and all you do is ignore me." I refuse to answer any of his questions. I wish he would have saved me the pain and did cut my out of his life. I mean really? Is this your way of showing your daughter you love her by beating the living shit out of her? So what if I don't want to pick up my phone to talk to you and your new family. He's always better to them than his biological daughter. _

_"Answer me!" His fist flies through to air to hit me in my temple. "You just don't get it do you! I have a family worth having and I'm still putting up with this!" I feel slaps to the face and legs then a few punches to my gut that leaves me breathless. I hate giving him the satisfaction of crying. I hold in my tears the best I can. _

_"I can't deny the fact you're my kid. You know? Aria, I can but not with you." He grabs at my neck and squeezes. I grasp at his hand trying to pry it off me but I can't because he just clutches even harder. I'm starting to lose consciousness. "Why can't you be anything like her?" I wish I could answer that but I can't. Right when darkness is about to pull her under from the lack of oxygen he lets go and shoves my face at the window. How he manages to drive and attack me is beyond me._

_Haziness. I lean my head back against the head rest, trying to take in as much air as my lungs can take. The loosening of my seat belt grabs my attention. Then he leans over me to open my door. I have no idea what he's doing. I'm frozen in the passenger seat until he grasps onto my elbow and shoves my body against the door. Since it's open my body hangs out of the car._

_"I fucking hate you Calliope! This __**wasn't**__ supposed to be my life__**. You weren't**__ supposed to be here." Fear is set in my bones when I see the ground in a blur. A streak of yellow on black pavement passes through. My elbow is in an awkward position that I feel it's going to dislocate or break. Tears fall from my eyes thinking my father is actually going to throw me out of the car._

_"Beg!" _

_"Dad please! Pull me back in!" I scream. I have no choice but to beg for my life. But then again... is this life really worth begging for?_

_"What?!"_

_"I can do better! You're the best parent there is. I deserve this just pull me back in please!" The words taste like vomit but what else can I do? I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me. Eventually I feel his tug on my arm to pull me back into his truck. I gasp at the relief but then the tears fall. _

_"I'm glad we're on the same page. You need to be better mija. I can't keep doing this if you don't want to change." His voice has finally softened. I fucking hate you. _

I gasp at the story. Sofia is sobbing in the back seat. Calliope has a blank expression on her face. That tells me she just relived that moment.

"It took me forever to hide those marks. My neck was covered with my father's hand print. I wore long sleeved turtle neck Under Armour shirts every day for about a month. Everyone thought I was a freak besides a few people who knew what happened to me. The only time I could handle driving around this park was around Christmas. There are light displays all over this park. My friends brought me here during that time to help get over the incident here. It helped for the most part but during the day, I relive that moment every time."

"Maybe, someday we can come here during Christmas so we can see those Christmas light displays." I try to lighten the mood the best I can.

"Are the displays pretty Ma?" Sofia catching on to my method.

"It's gorgeous. It always put me in the Christmas spirit." My heart hurts at the thought of being dangled out of a moving car. How much heart ache did my wife have to handle? I sob. Calliope takes my hands and raises it to her lips and leaves a lingering kiss there.

"There's one more stop. I don't know how many of these places I can show you the rest of this trip. When we come back, I can open up about the others." She drives back in the direction we came from.

"When we come back?" Sofia asks in disbelief.

"Yeah, unless you'd rather not come back?"

"No. No. That just caught me off guard. I don't know if I would be able to come back to a place like this." Our daughter states.

"I need to stop letting this place have such a hold over me. Only people who get to have such a pull at me are your Mom and you kids." I smile at the statement.

"You're amazing, you know that? Most people wouldn't be able to do this."

"Stop it. I'm doing it for us. You don't deserve to have a shell of me and neither do our children." Seems like we still have some other things to work on.

"You are though." I pull my hand away from Callie's and place it at the nape of her neck and run my fingers through her hair, something I know she loves.

We sit through a more comfortable silence waiting to arrive at our last stop of the day. There are no amount of words to describe the pride I feel when it comes to my wife. What I said earlier, it's true. Not many people could come back to a place like this. The meaning of every torturous location would tell them to stay away but Calliope faced every place with such grace. I turn my head to stare unbashfully at her profile. Even though today has been hard on her I see the weight she's been caring around with these memories slowly chipping away. She holds her shoulders just an inch or two higher than she has lately.

An elementary school comes into view and I'm totally confused.

"Uhm Ma, why are we at a school?" Sofia's just as confused as I am. Callie doesn't answer but parks the car behind a community school that's right next door to the school and a school playground.

"This was another huge place for me. I went to school here. I had all these happy memories until my father brought me here one day. He's ruined a lot of places for me but this one is the one that really hurt the most, I think." Calliope turns her body in her seat to face me and to be able to look at Sofia. She reaches for my hands and I place mine in hers immediately. Her eyes start to glaze over to more she speaks.

"Just like any other time, he hit, punched, slapped me until I turned black and blue. He cursed, pleaded, and verbally harassed me until I couldn't help myself from crying. He kept going until it was almost time to pick up Aria from school. I don't know how no one saw what was happening inside his truck." She grips my hands hard from what I can see she's about to dive deep into the past.

"Then all of the sudden he stopped." She releases one of my hands then reaches for Sofia. She takes her Mama's hand and stays silent. "He started searching through the center console for something. I was thinking that he was done for the day and I let out a breath of relief. What I didn't expect was him to pull out his switch blade." I try to hold the endless tears I've shed today from hearing these stories but I know I've failed. I hear Sofia breathe in quickly.

"I'm okay baby, I promise." It's the first time Calliope's voice has been light through one of her reencounters. I shake my head to acknowledge that I heard her.

"He flipped it open and held it up to my wrist. I knew I was shaking but the hold he had on my wrist kept me from doing so. I remember the chill I got from the metal grazing my forearm. He gradually kept putting pressure at the tip of the blade but not enough to puncture my skin. At that moment I thought I was going to die. He asked me, "do you want to die?" Of course I said no. He kept taunting me." Finally the rest of the damn breaks and tears flows out of those big brown orbs I love so much. Her upper body shakes while gripping at mine and Sofia's hands. I gather my wife as much as I can in my arms. Sofia rubs her back while I run my hands through her hair to try to calm her.

"After all that, he heard the bell ring at the school. He flipped his blade back and whispered, "until next time." He hasn't threatened me with it since but this spot was it. I never could walk or see this place the same ever again. I-I"

I interrupt her because I can't handle it. "Shhh. Calliope. We're here. I'm here. Sof is here. When we get back, Hayden, Adam, and Peyton are here. We're a family. We're **your** family. We are **not** going to hurt you. We love you." I brush away the tear under my wife eyes as she nods in understanding. As much hurt I still can spot in them, her eyes haven't been this light in quite some time.

"Let's get out of here. I think I've done enough 'healing' for today." I chuckle at her joke. At least she can still be hopeful about it. We spend the rest of the car ride back to Hannah's just talking about anything and everything. Finally we make it back to the house then we exit the car. I grab Callie's elbow to stop her.

"Sof? Why don't you head inside? We'll be in a sec." She nods at me then walks through the door.

Without warning, I kiss my wife with all the love I can muster up. Her lips part immediately and our tongues do a dance we've mastered over the years. My hands land on her chest while her arms enclose around my waist. Our kiss naturally slows down.

"Wow… What was that for?" Calliope asks slightly out of breath.

"I know you have a hard time taking a compliment, but you've been incredibly brave today and I want you to know it. Also, I want you to embrace it." I raise myself up on my toes to give her a light kiss. "Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you for being amazing today. I'm sure it wasn't easy to listen to those stories either." She tightens her hold on me. We stay in our embrace for a while until we head back into the chaos we know that's inside. We hear laughing and screaming in the living room.

"Mama! Mommy!"

"Hey kiddos. We you guys good for Auntie Hans?" I play.

"Of course Mom. We're perfect angels." Adam says. Callie and I chuckle at his admission. My wife gets pulled into a conversation with Hayden and Hannah. After staying at the house for dinner we finally make our way out the door to head back to the hotel.

"You promise to visit again?" Hannah narrows her eyes at Callie.

"Yes Hans. I can't stay away that long again. I promise." Callie gives her a huge hug. "Take care of my little sister, huh Mitchell?"

"It's my job Cal." He winks while also giving her a hug.

Hannah launches herself into me and I hug her back just as hard. "Take care of her. She's tough but she forgets that she's awesome." She whispers to me.

"I'll always take care of her. She's in good hands." I wink to joke so I keep myself from becoming emotional. After rounds and rounds of hugs between our families we leave towards our hotels. When we arrive back into our suite all the kids give their good night kisses and hugs and go about their nightly routines. It's not long after we check on the kids that they're all passed out in their beds.

Walking into the bedroom I share with my wife, she's already in bed with the covers pulled back for me. I crawl in and instantly Calliope's front is pressed into my back, her arm curls right underneath my breasts, her biceps slips under my neck, and our legs entwine together. It's our typical way of sleeping.

"Tomorrow might be just as rough as today." Callie speaks into my hair.

"I know, visiting your parents are going to be hard, not only for you but for me. I can't even think about being in the same room as your parents without wanting to yell or scream at them." I stiffen slightly at just the thought.

"Let me worry about that. The only reason we're seeing them is because our kids deserve to meet their grandparents once. We'll explain why they don't get to have a relationship, but there won't be any doubts."

"You're right. Let's just go to sleep." I sigh. "I love you Calliope."

"I love you too gorgeous."

* * *

Callie's POV

After spending the earlier part of our day at the go-kart track where I spent a good portion of my high school years hanging out at, we finally hit up the small burger joint I always ate at. My family loves getting the blast from my past treatment. I've never hid my life from them it's just difficult to indulge in it when so much of it is painful.

Another day of driving but this time we are going to the source of reason to why we even needed to make this trip. I won't lie; I finally feel some weight being lifted off of me. It hurt all over again thinking about those moments but it only stuck to me for so long until I looked at who I was telling those stories too. My beautiful daughter and my loving wife sat their supporting all day yesterday. It's always nice to see Hannah. I miss her but for a while it was hard to think about coming back to the Midwest. Now that we've done it, I think I can do it again. Next time it will be more for pleasure because with Dr. Wyatt, this time felt more about business.

I'm surprised that my parents both agreed to meet at my father's house. I know my parents can hardly stand each other but lately, especially when they see me, they've been joined at the hip. It's like they're trying to be a united front, _whatever. _I don't even realize that I still subconsciously know how to get to my dad's house without even thinking about it. I'm hoping this is a civil meeting.

I see the infamous Torres gate come into view. I roll my window down to the booth.

"Hi Ted. My father is expecting me."

"Callie Torres?" He looks like he's seen a ghost.

"Actually it's Robbins now. But can you just open the gate for me?" I try not to be so snippy but I don't really want to be here longer than I need to be.

"It's good to see you. It's been a while. The years have been good to you. But here you go. Have a nice visit." Teds smiles at me and I can't help but return it. He was also a good guy that caught up working for my father, unfortunately.

The large silver gate swung open to the long drive up to the Torres Manor. Why my father needs a place this humungous is lost on me. Last I can remember he lives here by himself. I hear all my kids chattering on and on about how huge this place is. If I didn't have such horrible thoughts with this place I would be in awe too. The drive is lined with tall trees up to the house. I park in front of the lanky wooden doors. The porch is held up by thick pillars, almost like the white house. My family exits the car with my wife coming under my arm while heading towards the door.

Before I ring the doorbell, "Okay, look guys we talked about this. I wanted you to meet your grandparents but we have our reasons for them not really being a part of our lives. Right?" I get nods in return. "You are allowed to enjoy your time here but don't ask your mother or I about wanting anything from them. Got it?" Once again I get silent agreements. I turn and ring the door and Gary, who is my dad right hand man opens the door.

"Callie!"

"Hey Gary!" As much as I hated my dad's workers some of them were always good to me. I hug the burly man who has aged quite a lot since the last time I saw him. He's dressed in a typical suit jack, button down, and slacks. My father loves his workers to be dressed nice while on the job.

"It's so nice to see you here. So who do we have here?" His smile spreads a little more while he scans my family. A small clearing of the throat pulls me back to reality.

"This is my beautiful wife, Arizona Robbins. These are our kids, Greyson, Hayden, Sofia, Peyton, and Adam. Kids, this is Gary."

"Hi Gary." All said in unison while Arizona shakes his hand. He takes us towards the main part of the house where my father always hosted his guests.

"Carlos. Lucia. Your daughter and her family are here." Gary addresses them. I look around the room to see the usually crew my father had but a few look familiar but I can't put my finger on how I know them.

"Hello Calliope. Hi Dr. Robbins." My father greets us. My mother doesn't say anything but gives me a hard glare from behind him.

"Of course. How rude of me? I mean hello Arizona." He is very good at being polite when he is trying to manipulate people.

Being the polite woman my wife is she greets my father she same way she would any other person.

"We already have met and spoken to Sofia so who is everyone else?" It's sickening how good he is at being this phony fake man. I see Grey take a protective stance in front of his siblings. A small smile plays at my lips at the gesture.

"I'm Greyson. This is Adam, Peyton and Hayden." He points out each one of them.

"Well I'm Carlos, your abeulo. This is Lucia, your abeula." He introduces himself and my mother.

"Good ahead you guys." Arizona nudges.

The kids give their grandparents tentative hugs all around. We spend lunch quietly talking among each other while my parents asks the kids about their lives back in Seattle. I know the game my father is playing. He's trying to lure them in so then they'll come back to me and beg to be a part of their lives. I refuse for that to happen. _Over my dead body._

We've managed to be in the living room just watching a movie with the occasional questions coming from my parents to the kids. It's such a weird feeling being in this house again but like this.

"Adam and Hayden." My mother catches their attention. "What do you guys like to do?" It's such an easy questions but I sit and watch the interaction with Arizona snuggled into my side.

"Well I play baseball and wrestle and do other things around school." Hayden answers first.

"I really like playing the guitar. Sometimes Mama and I like to learn songs together. Besides that I play baseball and wrestle too." Adam smiles cheekily.

"And you Greyson?"

"Same as these guys. I wrestle and am a wrestling referee on my free time. I also play baseball and other things."

"You boys are so alike. You guys sounds close?" Mom tries to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah, we all are. We fight sometimes but we get over it. I wouldn't know what I would do without them!" Adam shocks my mom with that reply. My younger boys follow in their big brothers footsteps. They're all different in their own way but the same in a lot of their activities.

The day continues with the same rounds of questions to all my kids. Arizona and I just enjoy being together without having to say much. Knowing my wife she wants to rip into my parents for me. _My hero._ It's not until after the movie do I realize that Sofia and my father are missing.

* * *

Sofia's POV

After a while the movie starts to get kind of boring so I slip out of the living room to explore this mansion of a house. I would totally get lost living here. If it was just Mama and Aunt Aria then my grandparents, why would they need a place of this caliber? I don't know. The first floor is a bunch of spare guest rooms which seem like some of them are occupied by my abeulo's workers.

During this whole trip I finally understand my mother's hesitation towards my grandfather. It's taken a lot out of me to be in a place where I can start to see where my mom grew up and was raised. A surge of anger flow through me when I think about the stories and places mom told us today. A parking lot, a common park, and a school and those are the places my mom's innocence was ripped from her at an age where it's held on to for dear life.

I start to search the second floor when I see the pictures of my mom and aunt on the walls. It's so cookie cutter. The typical poses of family portraits that scream "we're perfect!" but in a way it's saying "help me." This floor seems to be where mom's room must have been on with Aunt Aria's too. I shuffle along the corridor until I see a stair case again. I take its lead to an office.

"Sofia, what are you doing up here?" I'm startled out of my exploration by my grandfather standing in front of me.

"Oh, the movie was getting boring so I thought I could explore the house a bit. It's huge." I nervously chuckle.

"Well come on in." I sit in one of the chairs across his rather large desk. He's one of those people who demands respect. He reminds me of The Godfather.

I sit uncomfortably in the chair while he stares at me. I look around the office to see it's huge just like everything else in this house. The back corner is lining with shelving for a generous amount of books.

"Abuelo? Can I ask you something?" I figure if I want answers I might as well try to get them from the source themselves, right?

"Absolutely." He links his hands together as he leans back in his chair.

"I've heard a lot about your relationship with Mama. How could possibly do all those things to her? I mean she's your daughter. How could you lay a hand on her at such a young age? Didn't she deserve a chance?" I ramble on as I think about earlier today. I finally look at him to see that his eyes have changed to a darker shade of brown.

"Excuse me?" He asks coldly while rising from her chair.

"Uhm…" I start to get up at the same time to try to leave the office. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. It seems like I just got myself into trouble. Eventually I'm back into the other corner of this room. It's the wall with the couch and the liquor cabinet. I don't know how I got into this position, but I'm terrified as my grandfather stalks towards me.

"How dare you come into my home and ask me such a thing? What in the world has your mother been telling you about me? You don't need to turn out like your mother Sofia. That is just unacceptable." The anger that rages throw me has increase. Who does he think my mother is? She's a successful orthopedic surgeon who has a happy family and married a pediatric surgeon, they're both heads of their departments at the most competitive teaching hospital in the country and being both the best surgeons in their specialties. I don't notice the door open to the office.

* * *

Callie's POV

"Babe, where's Sof?" I ask my wife.

"I don't know. I swore she was sitting on the recliner last time I looked." With her brow knit together in that cute way ."

"Well why don't we go take a look somewhere else in the house?" She agrees with a nod. "We'll be right back."

We get up from our spot on the couch to walk hand in hand throw the halls. There's no one but my dad's guys on the first floor. Heading up to the second floor, there isn't much movement up here either. We stop a few times on Arizona's command to stare at some of the professional pictures done of me and Aria. They were always supposed to show that we were this perfect family to the outside world. Too bad it was so far from the truth. Making it up another, but shorter flight of stairs we start to hear voices, it sounds like arguing. We tip toe our way down the hall to what I know is to be my father's office. I hear him speaking sternly to someone.

I walk into my father's office to see the scene in front of me all in slow motion. He has Sofia in the corner of the room and he winds his arm back. I feel Arizona looking over my shoulder when the sound of smack against skin to skin rings to my ears. My jaw tightens and I turn to my wife who is beyond shocked while we burst through the room straight to Sofia. She's in the state of shock while caressing her reddened cheek. Her eyes widen at the realization that my father has just slapped her.

_I came home late again from softball practice. We have late practices as it is but I stay as long as possible until my coaches kick me off the field. My father hates when I do this but I always give him the excuse that I'm only doing it because I'm just trying to be the best like he expects us to be. For God sakes, I'm Torres so that's what I'm expected to do. I can't help roll my eyes at his motto for our family._

_"Come with me into my office Calliope." It's the only sentence he says to me the minute he passes by my room. I hang my head and follow him up the stairs. _

_"You know better than to be this late and don't you dare tell me it's because you need more practice. You're already way ahead of your team and most of the league. You hate being here, don't you?" Don't answer that, I think to myself. It's a way of trapping me._

_"Your silence is an answer within itself mija. Do you realize how much I do to provide for you?"_

_Again, don't say anything._

_He starts to move around his desk and I instantly move around the chair I was just occupying. I move as he moves and next thing I know my back hits the wall. I look around to see I'm next to the couch and the dresses where he sits his scotch and bourbon on. _

_"You are never going to grow up and learn." His palm flies right into my cheek because I can't brace myself fast enough to shield my face._

I pull at the back of his suit jacket and turn him around to grab him at the collar. It practically gives him whiplash when I throwing him against the wall. _I'm not the same scared kid I was back then, things will be different this time, he will not hurt my daughter the way he did me._

"What the fuck do you think you are doing laying a hand on my daughter?" I pull his body away from the wall then slam him back into it. _I hate him, he doesn't deserve to live!_

"You don't want to do this with your wife here, do you now Calliope?" He taunts me with a sly grin coming out to play at the side of his mouth. I want to wipe that smirk off your face right now. I look back to Arizona with a shocked look on her face.

"Shut up! You do not to get to touch Sofia! She is your granddaughter, for god's sake. Forget it. I know how you work, father. You even think about laying a hand on any of my kids or coming within 25 feet of my family I swear to everything holy that you will regret it. I know what you do for a living and I know everything. After all it was supposed to be my life, I was a Torres. I'm a successful surgeon and I know where you have hidden every piece of evidence." My hands are gripping my father's collar so tightly that I'm starting to choke him. Oh, how I would love to just kill you right now, bring an end to all the misery and pain you have caused.

I turn towards Arizona while she tries to calm Sofia down, her silent tears, breaking my heart. She gives me a small nod while she leads our daughter out of the room. Her eyes shine bright of confusion as she must have heard what I just said. I haven't revealed to her what exactly my father does for a living or where he gets all his money from. Nor have I told her of the other very painful parts of my past, caused at my father's hands.

"Give him hell babe." She whispers on the way out of my father's office and closing the door behind her. The minute she exits his office I turn back to my father. He's still wearing that smirk on his face. I can't help it but it's my turn to inflict a little pain. I swing my fist through the air to connect to the left side of his face. I take a few more swings that connect then realize, I'm better than this. Did it feel good? Abso-fucking-lutely. But my wife and daughter need me more than I need to kill my father. I step away from him while he's clutching his face with his hands. _Now you know how I felt._

"You are going to regret ever doing that Calliope. Now get the hell out of my house!" He scream.

I have no issue with that. His workers come in right after I exit. I fly down the stairs and corridors as fast as my feet will take me. When I reach outside my family is packed in the car. I hop into the driver's side and whip out of the Torres estate. No one speaks in the car or the trip back to the hotel room. I tuck the kids into bed after the long day we've had. None of my kids question why we left early and so abruptly. After they've gone to bed I go and check on Sofia. Arizona hasn't left her side since.

Sofia is curled up on the bed in her Mom's lap with an ice pack on her cheek. I walk in and take a seat on the other side of Sofia. She instantly crawls herself in my lap like she did when she was a kid. I tuck her head under my chin and wrap my arms around her. My wife looks my way and I give a small smile telling her I'll take care of this.

"Go to bed sweetness. I'll be in, in a little while." Arizona exits the room

I feel tears soaking my shirt and I stroke my daughters back for a while. At some point we adjust on the bed with her snuggled into my side, half on me and half off just like Arizona likes to lay sometimes.

"I'm so sorry Mama." I shush her immediately. I rock our bodies back and forth until Sofia was fast asleep on my chest. I remove the ice pack from her hand and set it on the night stand. I don't have the strength to pull away from my daughter right now. No one lays a hand on her and God forbid that I have to see my father again he will regret it. After the emotional roller coaster I've felt today, I fall asleep holding Sofia close to me while I finally succumb to sleep.

* * *

AN: I hope it was worth the wait. Let me know what you thought!

AN: Thank you to my beta for being pretty much everything during the process of me writing this. Much love to you. I'm grateful and you know it. :)

AN: Btw, if you have ideas for It's Only For Your Eyes to See, feel free to message me! The sooner I get ideas then sooner I can update! :) And it also looks like I'll be continuing Please Live For Me. Your wish is my command.


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